dev_chieftain: (farron)
dev_chieftain ([personal profile] dev_chieftain) wrote2012-02-09 08:52 am

Ambivalent

I was pointed to this site, and have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I've been subjected to a lot of these tactics/arguments when talking with people not even on the internet, but real life. And it's infuriating, and hurtful, and reading through almost exact examples of what was said in response to what I was saying leaves me agitated.

On the other hand, I sincerely doubt that the people I was having these conversations with-- often my friends-- were doing any of these things with the sole intent to hurt my feelings. Well, unless it was already an argument, at which point I know they were probably justifying the cruelty of saying these things to me with 'but SHE said xyz to me, and that was really mean!'

Basically, I can take from that site two things.

One: I really want my friends to know and avoid these "tactics" in conversation, because they are hurtful and offensive, and designed to shut down conversation. Not cool.

Two: I don't like the site's inherent suggestion that, because people sometimes DO employ these tactics, it's okay for us to shirk the responsibility of making an effort to communicate, because it's hopeless since everyone who disagrees with us is cruelly and intentionally trying to derail us anyway. Also not cool.

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