Extremely uncomfortable; The Hunger Games; Module Monday

1. Over the weekend we did a session of the open game for D&D Basic. This was fine, aside from the fact that we have expanded to include internet meet-up people for the group. We only got one this first week that was new to our group. I am still working hard to play more female characters, so I rolled in with Tamli, the 140-year old, middle-aged, narcissistic dwarf lady. Tamli thinks she's hot shit, and believes that her favorite author should write more romance novels about badass female heroes seducing people. So, she is helpfully going on adventures of her own, and sending Way Too Much Info back to the hapless author that she so admires, trying to get said author to write about her. Cool, right? Well, I think it's cool, anyway.

The problem is, the guy we got from the internet was your standard sexist nerd-guy. Here are the two big reasons I'm not comfortable with this guy:

a. He talked, apropos of nothing, about how he was hoping to be set up with a mail-order bride from Cambodia who has a flourishing business there. In his own words, he'd prefer a NATIVE, you know, and of course even though HE lives with his parents, he'd expect her to move here. Yeah. Really. I cannot even fully articulate how utterly disgusting this racist, sexist, self-centered comment was, but it was pretty hard to sit by and keep playing the fantasy roleplaying game with him.

b. He also decided to talk incessantly about how his thief was a locksmith who specialized in undoing chastity belts for women in need. (I like Robin Hood: Men in Tights too, but I don't like hearing ANY joke repeated ad nauseum.) At one point he tried to suggest that this was how his character and my character had met, and of course, my character had graciously accepted his offer to sex her up. My answer: No. That didn't happen. At all.

Aside from the obvious fact that no woman who's been wearing a chastity belt for any length of time with a stuck lock is going to be in a condition any sane person would consider asking to have sex with (yes, chastity belts. Torture devices from the mideval era. Right, and how were these women going to the bathroom? Yes, NOW YOU GET IT.), the automatic assumption of "of course, she then wanted to have sex with me" is ridiculously condescending, arrogant, and demeaning. No! No, she wanted to PAY YOU with CURRENCY. That is the purpose of the currency system. Don't assume sexual favors unless they're offered to you! Thank you. Goodnight.

Now, anyway, the guy wasn't all bad-- we made it through the roleplaying session, and we had a pretty good time, I'd like to think-- but I would certainly not want to hang out with him outside of this occasional meeting at the game store, far away from our home.

When I talked to Danny about it, he said something I think is really illuminating here. I angrily complained that, of course, I just happened to be playing a female character, so this creep had felt no compunctions whatsoever about hitting on my character and assuming she would be totally okay with him oozing sexual innuendo at me that I did not want. Danny agreed: "You shouldn't have played a female character, not when there's a stranger there."

The fact of the matter is, that is utter nonsense. I should not HAVE to do things like play a male character to avoid being treated poorly by a fellow hobbyist. I should not HAVE to make a special request that my fellow hobbyists treat me with respect. Respect should be the default way we all treat all other human beings, regardless of their gender, race or sexual proclivities.

On the upside, I was not the only one uncomfortable with the way the guy acted, and Danny and Dustin were in agreement about probably avoiding getting to know him too well. Still, it seriously bothers me that people can even BE like this. I refuse to "just get used to it". People should seek to improve themselves, and to respect each other. We shouldn't have to get used to people being rude, or creepy, or violent towards us.

2. I want to know what people I know think of the Hunger Games movie. I basically think I want to support it on principle of it being an actual action movie about a woman lead, but I'm hesitant because I don't really like the concept very much. Any of you on the ol' list seen and liked it?

3. Tonight, the kill-Orcus module picks back up. That's potentially cool!

4. I think I want to join the SCA and learn archery? Hm. I'm just sort of thinking about this today. I would also settle for learning swordfighting.

This is apropos of nothing enough to need its own post.

I have been thinking about babies because I have a coworker who often relates stories about hers and I have come to an inescapable conclusion. The only reason I want to have babies biologically is to further a narcissistic sense of ownership. "The family line". I want babies for like, Picard mourning his lost family in Star Trek: Generations reasons. Not for any other reasons. (And notably, not even for those reasons when I am experiencing near-breakdown emotional vulnerability over an existential crisis about mortality and the nature of life as suffering.)

Otherwise, I can't think of a single good reason not to adopt. It is entirely because part of me does take pride in my genetic make-up-- this translates simply to the fact that I think I'm hawt, and anyone who doesn't agree is sorely lacking in taste--that I even consider ever allowing myself to become pregnant. Why else than to vainly proclaim to the world that my genetic code is awesome would I bring a child into this world? There are plenty of children already around to adopt.

To this end, I sort of expect my younger brother to get married and have kids so I don't have to. Like, seriously. I might be as invested in his romantic endeavors as I am partially because I have decided (for no good reason) that it's his responsibility to make babies which I can dote on from the safe position of "aunt".

I think this potentially makes me extremely weird. Not because I don't want babies of my own, just because I have such weird reasons for wanting them, and for expecting my brother to procure them to ensure the continuation of the family line. Back to work now.

Edit: Now topical! I have now heard of October Baby, which blessedly has low critical ratings, though not for any particularly straightforward reason. The long and short is, this is an indie propaganda Catholic pro-life movie about an 'abortion survivor' who gets upset that her mom didn't want her, goes to find said mom, and then through Catholic counsel comes to forgive her mother for being so danged awful.

I sort of hope this movie will not make back its budget; it's 3/4 of the way there on just its opening weekend, however, which alarms and depresses me. I think every mother should be willing to have her child. (Allow me to explain: this means that no woman should be forced to become a mother if she is unwilling. It does NOT mean that every woman should be ready to pop out babies.) An unwanted child is treated to a pretty sour experience, and there are plenty of kids up for adoption who need homes. Why not help those kids first, instead of trying to prevent women from having the choice to live their lives however they want?

The thing that annoys me most about all of this is that Judao-Christianity contains the tenet "live and let live". It is not "living and letting live" to refuse to acknowledge other ways of life as valid and acceptable for the people who choose to live those ways. You don't have to approve. You don't have to do anything except agree NOT to harm or ostracize people simply because of differing beliefs. Blargh.

I do think it's a lovely testament to how unknown this film currently is that multiple articles listed The Hunger Games as the only new movie to come out this last weekend. Go The Hunger Games. I'm more and more tempted to watch you all the time.