Captain Awesome and the Spacecapades

We're all caught up now! In general, I'm not sure where I'd like to see Adventure Time go. I love the show thus far, though, and if Finn's going to maybe take a chance with the Flame Princess in coming episodes, I would be totally down for that. I like Princess Bubblegum a lot, but I don't like seeing Finn suffer-- I've been stuck waiting for someone who had no intention of actually going through with anything with me before, and it totally blows. So, the resolution of him finding someone new, growing past his crush on PB and being able to deal, that sounds like a nice resolution to me. It seemed like a testament to how upset he was to see him cry, considering the ridiculous crazy stuff he's weathered with the immediate follow-up of "Nah, I'm fine, dude!"

With that said, I safely received Being John Malkovich and Interstella 5555, so now I can show them to Danny.

Yesterday's session of D&D was totally crazy. First we had to recap the events for Christian since he was away the week before; then we proceeded to do a bunch of wacky things. This included splitting up the loot we'd acquired from Zarathustra's lair while finding her necklace and mirror for her; one item found was a suit of armor imbued with the ability to send all creatures running in fear, which Sabine took. She then handed over her old armor (emblazoned with the symbol of Sulafta) to Iris, who insisted she would need it cleaned before she could use it. A spear went to Kelta and so on. (I haven't caught up the summary here, have I? Denar died when Esra polymorphed him to try to cure a plague that we all nearly died from. Ironically, the polymorph totally cured the plague-- but when turning back, Denar passed away, so we had to have him resurrected-- thanks to the gold dragon, Zarathustra, after we cured her of a madness-inflicting curse-- through reincarnation. He came back as an ogress, named Kelta.) Before we left there was some minor business, like Llewain giving Asha a raise...

IMPORTANT FACT: Everyone on the ship, except Asha, is paid at least 5 gold per week. Asha is paid 1 gold, 1 silver.

Exchange: I could be off by a factor of ten, but: 1 gold = 10 silver. 1 silver = 10 copper.

ESRA: Honestly, Asha, you're all right sometimes, provided you don't consistently complain about not getting a raise.
ASHA: Hahah...uh, gee, now that you mention it-- and since it came up naturally, and stuff, um. Llewain, could I- could I get a raise?
LLEWAIN: You know what, Asha? YOU KNOW WHAT? That's a great idea. How do you feel about making 1 gold, 1 silver, and ...two coppers?
ASHA: *flatly* Really? That's-- geez, boss, do you even have any coppers?
LLEWAIN: *checks his bags* No.
ASHA: Then, maybe you could--
LLEWAIN: Do you have eight coppers you can give me in exchange for this silver piece?
(Dev: You're such a cheapskate!
Bret: Meh!)
ASHA: Uh...sure. *he hands over eight copper pieces and takes the silver*
(Bret: And I THROW THE COPPER INTO THE OCEAN)
ASHA: No! What are-- why did you do that? That was perfectly good copper!
LLEWAIN: That's right, I owe you two weeks' pay. Do you have eight more copper?
ASHA: *hesitant* ...
LLEWAIN: You want this silver, right?
ASHA: ...okay, well. *he hands over eight copper coins for the silver.*
(Bret: And I THROW THOSE INTO THE OCEAN TOO
Dev: But WHY
Danny: Pffffffft-!
Bret: I THROW THEM. I do it.)
ASHA: No! Why would you do that?
ESRA: He's right, that's currency you're wasting, Llewain. To what purpose?
LLEWAIN: *ignoring Esra* You going to go dive for them?
IRIS: *tiredly* I will pay you five gold NOT to go dive for them.
ASHA: I can't believe you! *storms off*
SABINE: Hahaha, let's set sail before some idiot goes diving for those useless copper coins!
ESRA: They're not useless! Someone of Asha's class is honestly safer with smaller coins-- people won't assume he stole them.
LLEWAIN: Naaaaahhh.
IRIS: Honestly, he made a net profit of 4 copper, so he's nothing to complain about.

*Iris sneaks off to find Asha*

ASHA: *answers her knock eagerly* Y-yes, miss Iris? What can I do for you? Do you need anything?
IRIS: Oh, well, you see. He's too embarrassed to admit it, and it's not a raise, it's a, um, bonus, a one-time sort of thing, but this is for you. *she gives him an amethyst, worth 100 gold*
ASHA: Oh, wow! Thank you! I-I'll do whatever you like, miss Iris, really!
IRIS: In that case, could you clean this armor? *she hands over Sabine's old armor* Thoroughly.
ASHA: Sure, sure!

Once we set sail we headed for Carina, but in town were sidetracked by Maligos, who was pestering us through dream-controlling folk, and Bishop Dinta, whom we found in the local church. Taking Dinta hostage and temporarily expelling Maligos from his host, we decided to escort Dinta to the Council of Four for fair trial (which is secret code for "putting the helm of opposite alignments on him to see if that fixes him"). We nearly left immediately, but Esra worried for the crew's morale and insisted we stay at port overnight.

SABINE: No! Who cares, they'll be fine, they got paid!
ESRA: But they can't spend their money if they have to stay aboard! It's for the best, let them carouse. It's only a day, and so long as we do not harm him, Dinta has agreed to come peaceably.
SABINE: This is stupid! We should gooo, come onnn! I never leave the ship!
ESRA: Well, you should!
SABINE: Nu-uh!
ESRA: *pointing* Sabine, I order you to go out into Nys and have fun tonight!
SABINE: *lassos ESRA's arm, then ties him up and THEN ties him to the mast* I'll do whatever I want!
SYLVIA: Oh! Lady Sabine, uh...should I call back the rest of the crew?
SABINE: Leave 'em! *she stalks off the ship* I'm going into town.
ESRA: *struggling* Damn it, Sabine! ERGH. Could-- somebody help me?

Here, we made use of the Carousing Table, which I think Danny found on Jeff Rientz's blog; I might be misremembering. In any case, Sabine ended up rolling 12 and waking up with a splitting headache!

(Danny: You have the ultimate hangover as you awaken!
Dev: What're you drawing?
Christian: The thing. How much does it cost to get tattoos?
Danny: Huh?
Christian: Tattoos.
Danny: Oh, 10 gold.
Christian: Heheh, then Sabine wakes up with all her hair shaved off, and THIS *holds up his drawing* tattooed over her face, centered around her eye! This part is patterned like dragon scales.)

SYLVIA: Shall we set sail, Esra?
ESRA: Hm. Is everyone back aboard?
SYLVIA: I think so, though some of the crew are hungover. Can't hold their whiskey.
ESRA: Oh, dear. Should we wait, or will we be able to pull together a skeleton crew?
SYLVIA: We should be fine.
ESRA: All right, well in that case--
SABINE: *limps on deck*
ESRA: Oh my-- Sabine?! Is that you?
KELTA: Who is that?
LLEWAIN: Yeah, hey, do you belong on this ship? I don't recognize your face.
SABINE: *cringing* Not so loud. *scowl* Yeah, it's me.
ESRA: Did-- *frown* Did you find that diplomat you kept insisting you were going to kill? And lose?
SABINE: Naw, man.
ESRA: My goodness, you really shaved it all off.
SABINE: Yeah, yeah.
ESRA: --um, yes, Sylvia. Now we can set sail.

On the way (at sea, but not too far out of port), Iris offered her magic (cursed) comb to Esra mysteriously while she, Esra, Sabine and Llewain were on deck. Seeing that it had no effect on his hair, Iris grew frustrated with the mysterious comb and combed her own hair with it.

And turned into a medusa!

She turned Esra and Sabine into stone, but Llewain managed to avoid her stony gaze, and she became deeply desirous to mate with him. (We have been joking for quite some time that Llewain will just leave Iris-- as portrayed in the mysterious dream we shared months ago-- once they have kids, and they sorta kinda have some modicum of romantic tension going on). So she led him belowdecks, warning the rest of the crew to look away, and turned Dinta into a statue. Satisfied, she then fucked the snot out of Llewain, which was mostly okay except for the part where her snake heads were constantly biting him. (She cast slow poison on him beforehand to keep him from dying.)

Following that, she rushed off to her room and laid medusa eggs.

On the upside, Xenocrates was able to discern, through use of Esra's mage lab, how to turn those made stone back into flesh. On the downside, it required used of the medusa's blood. We decided to leave Dinta a statue for a while, and Iris turned Esra and Sabine back, then removed the curse upon herself, as well. Since she had no ability to cure Llewain of the poison until the next day, she belatedly realized that she would need to turn him to stone to successfully save his life.

We all agreed we'd let her and Llewain be inside Iris's cabin, as she wouldn't be able to turn herself back until the next day, either, and closed the cabin doors.

Iris pulled out the comb, combed her hair, and--

died, instantly, failing to survive the system shock of being turned into another being. Luckily, Llewain survived the poison-- but Iris may be gone forever! And when her medusa eggs hatched we're all probably going to get medusa'd. Particularly amusing is the fact that earlier in the session, Esra asked Iris during an argument about the conflicts between the religion of Sulafta and the religion of the Birds of Heaven if she objected to being brought back to life if she should fall in battle at their side, then, and she said she would.

Knowing us, we might try to bring her back by going to Rukri anyway. Man, there were a lot of points last night where I was laughing too hard to breathe!

Nervous about the test drive tonight. I want to walk in, find that the car is exactly what I was expecting, that the price has not skyrocketed, that the trade-in value of my old car is enough to knock out the cost of the warranty over BBV so there won't be issues with my loan-- basically, if everything goes well, I want to walk out of the dealership owning a new car that drives well, safely, efficiently, reliably. There's not really any good reason this shouldn't happen, but I worry anyway.

D&D last night was excellent, including such highlights as fighting a black pudding with a green slime! I'm behind on the summary, I know, but this car-buying nonsense has sort of gotten in the way of doing anything but worry about it for a few days. In the meantime, here's how the black pudding troubles went down:

[Llewain opens a secret door. Behind it is a massive black ooze! We shut it quickly, and Esra desperately tries to remember details about such creatures.]

Esra: Wait. Wait! I think-- creatures like that are known to dissolve metal, not just people. You shouldn't attack it with anything made of metal unless you want to lose it, and your armor--
Llewain: I've maces made of stone, then!
Denar (who has become Kelta, long story): Yes, and my weapon is made of shell.
Sabine: Well shiiiit.
[Llewain throws open the secret door again]
Llewain: Foul ooze! [he strikes it with a stone mace]
[It splits into two oozes.]
Esra: Oh, dear. Let's see if we can't stop this here.
[He polymorphs one of the two oozes into a canary, which then flies away. Sabine strikes the other. It splits.]
Iris: Confound it, Sabine!
Sabine: [innocently] What?

[Eventually we give up and run back out. We discover, down a not-secret corridor, a room of green slime, which is clinging to the ceiling.]

Llewain: Wait. I have an idea. The fire didn't kill the black ooze from before, but we've seen this slime at work before; anything it consumes is turned into more of it.
Esra: Oh! And as Sabine demonstrated for us before, that sort of slime is quite flammable.
Llewain: Exactly. You all hide down in the interment room, and I'll lead the black ooze into the green slime. On the far side of the room I'll leap through the door and once they've been consumed you can set alight the slime and it will be safe to cross.
Iris: ...Well, if you're sure.
Llewain: It ate my armor and I'm in tattered rags, I think I'm the best candidate.
Esra: About that-- [he unties his yellow sash] Here you go, if you like.
Llewain: Oh, thanks. [He ties it thoroughly as underpants.]
(Danny: And later Esra will be all *snifffffff* Mmm, Llewain
Dev: Pfft! No! You mean Asha. Esra will be like 'no thanks, you can keep it, I have more where that came from'!)

D&D was excellent last night! Dustin made me a Wild Tiger mask for Valentine's Day, because he is awesome (or just enjoys seeing me geek out) so I dutifully wore it for the whole session, except when it got too warm.

I never finished last week's summary, so here's the short version: once we'd awakened from the dream, the party was torn on what to do. We investigated Hektos to see if he'd caused the dream, and found that he'd awakened after we escaped through our own means to a mysterious explosion in the dream that was so violent said dream had ended; Sabine, Denar and Llewain questioned where Xenocrates had gotten his 'reagent' that he'd planned to use to enhance his spell, and what it was. On being told that it had to be freshly-dead brains and he'd gotten them at the night bazaar, they grew thoroughly fed up with him and told him to shut up while he was in midst of explaining how he'd learned to enhance the ESP spell from an old woman. We then proceeded to investigate said bazaar. There, we all encountered some problems-- a) that nobody decided to disguise themselves, and b) that nobody actually had any plans of what to ask the merchant when we found him-- which left us floundering for a moment. The merchant would not say exactly where he got his wares, simply that he sold the pieces of the body for smaller prices and the whole body for ten gold pieces if the party was interested. Unwilling to make such a purchase unless it were absolutely necessary (and in Iris's case, at the very least, disturbed by the idea of making such a purchase at all), the party broke away from his stall and discussed what to do. We were all agreed that Maligos, whom we suspected had been disguised as a woman in the dream realm and might come to attack us, must be found and at the very least talked with, if not stopped; we were also agreed that we wanted to look into the ritualistic murders we'd heard about before.

However, since we could not re-enter the dream realm and had no means of determining where Maligos might be physically, Esra decided to go talk to Xenocrates and find out more about the old woman he'd mentioned, since 'enhanced ESP spell' had been mentioned in the same breath as 'she was a master of dream magics'. Meanwhile, the rest of the party wandered the night, trying to look like appealing targets and lure out an ambush that we thought might be waiting for us. (I suppose 'tried' is debatable. No one divested themselves of their armor/vestments or feigned drunkenness, for example, haha!)

Esra did talk to Xenocrates, who was pouting, and tried to soothe his ruffled feathers and reassure him that he was totally awesome while asking after the old woman. Xenocrates explained that her name was Red Alexandra, and she might be able to teach the group how to control their dreams to protect themselves. He also said he could probably find her place again, provided she hadn't moved in the two years since he'd last seen her. Xenocrates also professed concern about Kristoffer, the mage who we took on some time back after changing him back from the ferret he'd been trapped as. Esra, who'd completely forgotten about poor Kris, agreed that he'd have to look into that sometime and then promptly forgot again-- once the night was over, we provisioned the ship over the next couple of days and then set sail for Lyn and Red Alexandra!

Last night picked up while we were at sea, heading towards the central island of Lyn. Shortly into our voyage, we caught sight of a ship approaching us, with a white sail. (We briefly discussed which flag we were flying at the moment, and decided that the Lyn flag was safest since we were headed there. As usual, we apparently are keeping one of each nation's flag.) When the ship got in range for us to see more clearly, we could make out first that the white flag was decorated with a crossed out Jolly Roger, and second that their crew was standing at the ready to board us, swinging grappling hooks on ropes in preparation. Between Sabine and Denar's cajoling, and his own agitation, Esra used the scroll of fireball that Sabine had insisted on getting, and set the ship's sails on fire, killing several of their crew instantly and making it possible, as we watched their mast collapse and their crew struggling to salvage the ship, to outrun them without having to fight them directly.

Sabine: THAT WAS AWESOME!
Esra: Yes, well, I won't be doing it again. No scroll, you know.
Sabine: Why don't you know that spell?
Esra: It's barbaric!
Iris: Um, yes, you did just set five people on fire.
Denar: They could have been innocents, why'd you do that?
Esra: Innocents do not stand around clearly trying to engage in combat and board our ship!
Llewain: But they were antipirates. Their flag said so.

[We then have a long side discussion about whether anti-pirates would explode on contact with Sabine; then on whether antimatter and matter could possibly react in as volatile a fashion as suggested by Captain Harlock; then on why Voyager is so bad, and has such scenes as jettisoning plasma and then "igniting" it with their phasers, which Bret likened to setting water on ice. It is suggested that perhaps it is blood plasma like the kind he works with, and joked that oh yes, THAT is actually quite flammable! Bret sets us to rights with his phlebotomy: Oh, no, that stuff is like 90% water.]

We sailed without further incident for some time, but at one point late in the third night of travel, Sabine noticed a mist gathering around the ship, and a strange, unearthly seeming light. It manifested into the figure of a woman, who croaked "Turn back! Danger!" when Sabine tried to speak with her. Ringing the bell to alert the others-- who were primping (Iris), cleaning up the magic lab (Esra) and consulting the seacharts (Llewain) respectively. Denar, who had been on deck the whole time, simply melted out of the shadows in his customary rangery way.

We could get no more out of the old woman than Sabine had; while Denar and Llewain were unmoved by the warning and Sabine laughed at the superstitious nature of it, Esra and Iris wondered if it would be possible to chart a course that turned them back, considering the mist dimming the stars. Ultimately, it was decided they'd just go forward, so everyone went below deck who'd been there and slept a while, while Sabine continued to steer the ship.

Until a chill went down her spine, and she wrenched the ship hard to port, narrowly evading a giant, quivering, slick black mass-- an enormous squid!

The squid latched on to the ship and began attacking it, while Sabine rang the alarm and the group groggily returned to deck, buckling on armor and supplies, nursing bruises from being thrown from their beds (or knocked over where they stood) when Sabine pulled port. She pointed out the beast off the starboard bow and the group tried to figure out what to do, even as the slimy monster's huge tentacles descended on the ship.

Sabine began hacking tentacles off at the tips, while Denar and Llewain both stabbed the tentacles nearest them through. Esra pulled free the wand of lightning we'd recently acquired, while debating the merit of equipping Sabine with the rings of free action and gills so she could fight the sea monster beneath the waves. Ultimately he decided against it, calling lightning through the rod and into the monster in a sharp bolt.

Between getting stabbed, hacked at and shot, it was not happy. So it started grabbing us all up in chokeholds with its slimy tentacles and started trying to crack us open! We kept barely managing to struggle free, then being grabbed again, so Esra gave up struggling when he was caught the second time, and, with his one free hand, kept striking the monster with the lightning wand. Iris healed herself just in case, while Denar and Llewain struggled free again, and Sabine tried to hack Esra free. You see, it's reasonable to note that while still in the squid's grip, everyone thus immobilized was being hit by Esra's crazy attacks. Still bound, even though he was just shy of passing out, he activated the wand again, blasting the monster as hard as he could and, by extension, himself and Iris. Iris stayed up, but Esra passed out-- just in time, because so did the squid. Victorious, we continued to sail away, but realized we were taking on water. So once Iris had reawakened Esra, we asked Albert and Jacques to help repair the ship. The next few days of travel were spent in recovery, resting up on part of the party and fixing the ship on part of our darling NPCs.

Along the way, Xenocrates wondered where Glorya had gone, and Esra went to ask Slasher if she'd seen him. She explained that he'd left a couple of ports ago, citing "irreconcilable differences", which made Esra wonder what'd caused them. Slasher professed that she totally liked Esra more than Glorya anyway and he could be her new friend!

Esra: *returning to the bridge* Apparently, Glorya left the ship a couple of weeks ago, possibly more. Troublesome, really.
Sabine: Why?
Esra: Slasher says he had 'irreconcilable differences' with someone?
Xenocrates: I just wondered where he was because I hadn't seen him in a few days. Well, weeks, I suppose.
Denar: *drily* I wonder who he had differences with.
Iris: Indeed.

In any case, Xenocrates guided us faithfully to the town of Ular, while relating that he is actually from Portsmouth and has a wife and children there, from whom he is estranged (for whatever reason). As we were docking he also explained that Red Alexandra lived a couple of days' travel inland from Ular on foot, and that she lives in what he thinks of as a crossbow hut-- you know, a hut where all approaching strangers are shot by the owner with a crossbow.

More later!

So, after watching Intermission, I had to add my Clannad album (a best-of collection) to my .mp3 player and have been listening to them again. The sound takes me back to high school, and also to the beach, and sometimes the music just sinks down into my brain and I regret, in that horrible melancholy way where the world could all be right and I'd still regret that I couldn't do everything. But it's also fun to listen to them, and while I probably don't have the Celtic soul noted in Intermission necessary to make me worthy of listening to them, I definitely have to conclude that I like Clannad pretty well.

Getting excited for vacation time as it nears!

But here is D&D summary, since I did not have time before now.

-We met back up in Lunel, where Esra identified the items we'd found before and we doled them out as fit. Llewain came away with a serrated dagger, Sabine with a frosty sword, Esra with a scroll and a wand and a ring of jumping. Denar had the FLAILSNAIL shell made into a rainbow mace that leaves shiny trails. And, he can use it twenty times to sap people's will to resist him, which is pretty impressive even without the glowy rainbow trails. Sabine also gave Esra the scroll of Fireball she'd asked Maligos to draft for her, and he identified that it truly was a fireball spell (Danny noted that it also had definitely been scribed by Maligos).

-We returned to Nys, pursuing Kelisandra and Korad. But we found them in the Greased Goose inn, where questioning, prying, and severe irritation with their deception yielded the information that, in fact, they had been posing as us under Maligos's orders.

-Esra may need to compare the writing on the fireball scroll with the writing on 'Bishop Dinta's secret notes; also, the scene I did the excerpt from earlier happened, as we checked our ship to be sure nothing much had been stolen.

-I'm also remembering some mysterious hooded figure had lunch with Esra waaaaay back at the beginning of the game, where by 'lunch' I mean 'a cup of boiled water, which he or she did not finish.'

-Hmmmmm. But yes: ritual murders have been happening in Nys, as have nightmares, so we figured we'd probably need to resolve that. This may all be connected to Dinta, Maligos, and the fact that anyone was ever interested in the Crown of the Speaker to begin with.

And Dustin kept claiming that we don't want our island unless it's threatened. To which I say no, we're just savoring it, man. Jeeeez. We're taking our time. We're being prepared, that's all. It's ours and we'll go when we're good and ready. ...probably.

We also made terrible jokes, including poop jokes, jokes about "pass womb", the spell that allowed a crazy knife-wielding NPC to escape his mother's belly, and so on. So on track and mature! That's us. :D

Dear melodramatic "Well I just guess I'm not going to follow the meme to Dreamwidth because it's SO HARD to find my old prompts and fills. *FLOUNCE* GOODBYE" posters on the t-and-b-anon community:

Prove to me that you ever had a fill.

What page is it on on the LJ meme?

Guess what: it's on the exact same page on the DW meme. Yes, really. Yes, you have your fill bookmarked which means you could easily find it again in this way.

How much sympathy do I have for you? Exactly none.

I understand that some people don't want to move to Dreamwidth, and I have no problem with that. But don't try to make out like it's harder to find things on Dreamwidth than it was on livejournal, because it was hard on livejournal, too.

The thing that really makes me roll my eyes, though, is the attempted veiled threat of "hmph! I'm not going to finish my fills!"

Fine, take your ball and go home. The rest of us'll play tag.

SOON TO BE EDITED IN: D&D SUMMARY

NOW PLAYING: D&D SUMMARY

I must open this summary by saying man, Esra, you are just not so great at the planning thing!

So we arrived in the Grand Cathedral, where we had to bully our way in past unimpressed and surly church officials (Esra, feeling pretty badly out of it after traveling for eight hours following our ruckus in Nys; Iris, feeling pretty confused as to why the church is so stubborn about going to bed so early-- it was barely sunset; Sabine and Denar, annoyed that Esra kept talking them out of just killing their way in; Llewain, facepalming and wondering why he's with these crazy people, I'm sure). Eventually we found Bishop Barlowe and warned him about Bishop Dinta.

An aside:

Every single person the party had encountered while we were on the search and asked about the rod had apparently heard of it, and described it exactly as Dinta had, then claimed it did exactly what Dinta said it did. Despite this, Barlowe is the first person to summarize the description of the item, and then tell us "that's the Rod of Cancellation". Nobody thought this, or the previous instances, was strange except for Esra, who can't really fairly judge the religion-and-politics-his-country-recently-trounced-in-a-war without looking like an asshole. Generally he abstains from saying much, beyond muttering about it, but this whole thing is getting a bit ridiculous.

Just once, I wish I could get to play a wizard without having to deal with conspiracy theory plots. There is not a genre I hate more.

End aside, back to summary: So we warn Barlowe about Dinta, and he claims to have found a secret lab in the basement where Dinta was performing cultist rituals to communicate with the evil demon, Orcus (cue like eight hundred jokes about whether that's the god of the orcs, because we are Very Mature in this party, haha), then asks us to go down into the basement and take care of something there. Esra, who was in a bad mood about not going to an inn for the night and catching some sleep, Denar, who was in a bad mood because Barlowe kept insulting us in a misanthropic hates-everyone kind of way, and Sabine, who is just cantankerous, were all pretty leery of doing anything for Barlowe OR the church.

At one point, this happened:

Iris: Well, it would really behoove us to find a new Seeker--
Barlowe: Speaker.
Iris: Speak a new Seeker of Sulafta--
Barlowe: (to Llewain, the only one he liked) Why do you permit the strumpet to speak?!
Esra: (hotly) Because that "strumpet" is the only one of us with any affection in the least for your asinine, backwards church!
Denar: Honestly, calling her a strumpet...
Sabine: She's OUR 'ho
Iris: I guess I'm not a very good public seeker
(Danny: WHAT, hahaha!)
(Dustin: *smirk and nod*)

Anyway: it came down to this. Barlowe wanted us to oust some kind of demon (or wanted us to go into the basement and get killed by it), claimed through lack of evidence and unwillingness to come forth that 'one of the bishops represents both genders as is Sulafta's will', implying 'himself' to be the hermaphrodite in question. Personally, I doubt it, since at this point Sabine's plan of making Llewain the Speaker of Sulafta appeals to me more than letting any existing official have the job-- in fact, I'm not against letting Denar kill them all, because that would be easier than having to determine if they were all working together to try to kill us or not.

After much debate, and irritated discussion about whether we could trust Barlowe or not, we acceded to the request and went down into the basement, where we discovered a demon and two treasure chests-- one all fancy-shmancy encrusted in jewels and one all rank and emitting grossness. Sabine, Llewain, Denar and Iris engaged the demon, while Esra ran up to try to open the rank chest, figuring it might contain the demon's heart. (I'm just going to say right here: I hear "ornately decorated treasure chest in room with demon", the first thing I think is 'shit, we're going to need to catch the deer, then the rabbit inside, then the bird, then smash the diamond at its feet!' because Russian myths are best myths, okay.)

Unfortunately, the rank chest contained dead apprentices, to Esra's horror, and then when he tried the other chest because why the heck not, his hand stuck to it.

The others finished off the demon, while Esra struggled to free himself from the Mimic unsuccessfully, complaining that it was gross. Llewain attacked the beast, but Esra's flailing got him in the way and earned him a couple of daggers in the back, which put him unquestionably on the ground, unconscious and pale as death.

Sabine started hitting the thing with various swords, Denar shot it, and between Llewain, Sabine and Denar's concerted efforts to defeat the sticky gooey monster, it finally collapsed into a puddle, allowing Iris to pull Esra away from it and force a potion of magical healing down his throat. Within the creature lay a small bag coated with runes, in which were hidden a scroll, a ring, a dagger, a sword, and a wand; the party's initial curiosity, which had been Dinta's notes and research-- presumably concealed in a cipher, according to Barlowe-- was collected before they trudged back upstairs, Esra trying to ignore Sabine bullying him (unsuccessfully) while Llewain had to be the Dad.

(multiple conversations last night went something like this, which was hilarious:
Sabine: Aww, poor baby Esra, want me to carry you?
Esra: *stubbornly keeps walking* I don't need your help!
Sabine: Want me to give you horsey rides up on my shoulders? I bet you do~
Esra: Llewaaaain, Sabine is picking on me again.
Llewain: Now Esra, Sabine will never stop bullying you until you stand up for yourself.
Esra: She'll just keep bullying me even if I do!
Llewain: Stop picking on Esra, Sabine.
Sabine: Hahaha-- no!)

Barlowe waited too long to open the door, so Sabine broke it open, smacking him in the nose on our way out. Esra was relieved when Barlowe offered to assist him with some healing magic, (since Iris was still out from before), but aside from collecting more of Dinta's notes from Barlowe (and getting growled at again for letting Dinta go earlier), he had nothing more for us. We headed out of the Cathedral and checked in at Inn Sulafta's Name, where Esra was then bedridden for a while. Denar had collected the abandoned skin of the demon and played with it a while, even considering making it into armor, before he ended up burning it to ensure that the demon could not re-enter the skin. He met a smith who claimed to be able to work any material, and made a plan with Sabine to go back to Nys for the FLAILSNAIL shell.

They discussed this while a cute serving girl in the inn offered to get Esra soup and bread since he was recovering from some injuries, to which he was not averse at all. The soup ended up having a golden ticket at the bottom of the bowl, which turned out to have an enchantment upon it that revealed it was from The Puzzler (the wizard Esra attacked with the Rod of Cancellation before) and invited anyone holding such tickets to come try to prove their worth as the Puzzler's potential apprentice. Esra was annoyed, but kept the ticket-- mostly in the interest of taking the Puzzler down. Anyway, Sabine decided she and Denar would go because Esra is boring, and Esra waved them on, saying they'd have plenty of time to get the shell before he was done recovering and, more importantly, identifying the items they'd found. Llewain and Iris decided to chill in the other inn room after Sabine and Denar left, which meant that the serving girl (who'd been offering to collect hot towels for Esra) came back to play Nurse with him. There will probably be fanart. I can't help myself!

Sabine and Denar returned to Nys to find that imposters-- Kelisandra and Korad, specifically-- had tried to make the claim that they had killed the gold dragon of Hurdu and THEY were the Hurdu Trading Company, pretending to own the ship and kicking the crew off of it so they could do what they wanted with it. While it's possible they're involved, the only person Sabine and Denar found on the ship was our old buddy Maligos, who was rooting through Esra's mage-lab for "something" and claimed he'd not been able to find anything before sneaking off. It's hard to say whether Maligos orchestrated the whole thing or not, since he has interest in the realm of dreams and further, he could have posed as the Hurdu Trading Company himself. In any case, Sabine stayed aboard the ship to establish their rightful claim to it while the Port Authority checked (and drank one of the guards under the table while she waited) while Denar went to find and retrieve the crew, informing them of the deception.

More next week!

One last edit to add:

During the fight:
Llewain: Oops. *wince* sorry, Esra.
Esra: This thing is gross and sticky get it off!
Sabine: What have we learned, Esra? Do not kiss pretty girls, do not talk to strange men who smell nice, and don't touch sticky treasure chests!
Esra: Shut up!
[Another dagger]
Esra: L-Llewain, if I've done something to offend you, I apologize! Please don't throw more knives at me!
Llewain: Just-- hold still--
[And another]
Esra: *collapse*
Llewain: Er, oops.
Sabine: Pfft, what a pushover.

As you may have noticed, we've been having a difficult time finding our focus in D&D these last couple of months, between holidays and just a general sense of nonsensical goofiness. It's hard not to get distracted when you're at a table with a bunch of your friends, laughing like an idiot over something goofy like bursting into Sisters, Sisters and unexpectedly getting four of five guys to back you up on it. (That was, by the way, one of my favorite moments in quite some time!)

Last night we did have a Motherlover moment where Jason and I couldn't help bursting into raucous song, but in my defense, we also had several moments where we just laughed too hard to do anything. Still! It was the most focused we've been on D&D in a while.

As the party prepared to set sail from Vellas, we discovered several things were off about our ship. For one, Xenocrates wanted to inform us that he'd discovered a mysterious crate with airholes and, for whatever reason, cast ESP on it. It seemed that there was some kind of sentient creature there, so the party rolled up their figurative sleeves and went to investigate (we made Sylvia open the box, though Sabine or Llewain might be stronger than her-- well, you know, it's good to be PCs and it's even better to be prepared in case the box had contained something actually threatening). Rather than be anything dangerous, however, it turned out to be a little girl, eight or ten at most, in a ragged dress. She tried to tell us her name was Darkstar, to which no one would agree, and then reluctantly said we could call her Lily. We tried to figure out who'd sneaked her aboard, but weren't certain; we sent Iris and Sylvia into town to get a new, not-ragged dress for her, then prepared to set off for the constabulatory to see if she matched any missing persons reports. However, we were waylaid by two suspicious figures who were dressed as members of our crew, but asked rather noticeably if we had anything we wanted to leave behind.

We gave them a suspicious look, and when they tried to run, Sabine tackled one, Denar tried to grab the other, and Llewain caught him with a dagger to the hamstring when he kept running. Esra approached the fallen one, turning him over with one foot and wondering what their business was, only to nearly get attacked as the man drew a shortsword. Esra hastily backed off as two extremely convenient guards walked up to 'arrest' the men, claiming that the man Llewain had handicapped was Vargas, the infamous assassin! The guards made as if to arrest the others and assured us we needn't come to the barracks with them, to which Llewain responded that we were already headed that way to identify whether the little girl was missing or not. When they tried to demur that they really didn't need us to come with them, we became suspicious of them as well. They tried to run, and Esra cast a spell upon them that made them each light as a feather. Before they could blow away, Denar caught their feet and held them, as Iris called for the REAL guard.

Arresting the four assassins, the cadre of the guard who'd responded to our call asked us to come with them to answer a few questions (had we ever seen the men before, what was our business on the boat, etc), and we fell into step behind them to do so. This left us with the discussion of what to do with Lily, who Esra was giving a piggy-back ride. Sabine, being Sabine, wanted to toss her overboard; Llewain and Iris and Denar thoughtfully wanted to take her to the constabulatory to see if she matched any missing-persons reports. Esra, being not-so-secretly lonely without his cute daughters around, wanted to add Lily to the crew and had very few qualms about it. Iris seemed perplexed.

Sabine: Don't you have some already? Daughters.
Iris: Yes, that's a good question. Of course, don't take this the wrong way, we're very pleased to have you with us and you've been quite helpful, but-- why aren't you home with your daughters?
Esra: Ah. Um. Well, you know how-- Llewain has assassins after him because of things he used to do, back in the day?
Iris: You used to be an assassin?
Esra: Oh, no. Well, I stole things for a, um, society back during the war, but as it turns out someone seems to be killing everyone in that society...
Sabine: For crying out loud! Does anyone else have assassins after them?
Iris: Well, I don't, but I think my share comes from the rod, which means they went to Esra since he's carrying it right now.
Esra: Er, yes.
Sabine: You? Do you have any assassins after you? [to Denar]
Denar: ....possibly.
Sabine: Damn it!

At the barracks, we asked that they check for reports of the girl going missing, expressing our desire to confirm that she was not a runaway before permitting her to join our crew. Meanwhile, they interrogated our would-be assassins and told us they'd come to us once they had the information and asked where we'd be staying. We decided to head back to The Last Honest House and have a meal (as much for Lily's benefit as that we were already hungry). In the inn, we were faced again with the daunting task of deciding where the blazes we wanted to go. Denar expressed a mild interest in going to Carina, which brought Sabine back to her desire to head there and seek out the nobleman we escorted the one time so she could kill him for the bounty on his head. The problem of whether we should confront Bishop Dinta or not (about his obvious plot to in some way engineer a Speaker of Sulafta who was false) was bandied back and forth.

Whilst eating, Esra tried to convince Sabine that Lily was adorable and should be kept on the ship.

Sabine: I'm not calling her Darkstar.
Esra: So call her Lily! She can stay with us.
Sabine: Why do we need a kid on board? There's no place for a kid.
Esra: Well, Reginar is with us because his parents sold him to be...well, dead, and Lily claims to be an orphan-- even if it's not true, I'm sure we can find a place for her.
Sabine: No, see, there was a reason to take on Reginar, that was different.
Esra: If we have two then Reginar won't get lonely! She'll be fine, you'll see.
Sabine: Hey.
Lily: H-huh?
Sabine: Kid, you like beef?
Lily: Um, yes, I do.
Sabine: [waver] All right, I'm gonna call you Beefcakes, then.
Esra: [shaking his head] What about fish?
Sabine: [makes a face]
Iris: Yes, when rations are low, all the beef would go to Sabine, first.
Lily: It's okay, I guess. Oh, could I have it in a plum marinade?
[Iris and Esra trade surprised looks. Our girl seems to have expensive, Libra-specific tastes; could she be from a noble house?]
Sabine: What's a marinade?

When the guards finally contacted us, they let us know that House Epsilon-- Iris's house-- had contracted the would-be assassins, and suggested we make sail rather than try to tangle with a noble house, as well as the fact that no one had reported the girl missing. We decided to add her to our crew as a helper, and everyone seemed to have something they wanted to teach her (which led to an exchange between Dustin and Bret: "She's going to grow up to be a Bard, you know." "Oh, god, we are raising her WRONG!")

We set sail after a brief run-in at the inn with a fat man in mish-mash armor named Kero Sene (a reference to one of Christian's characters back on a persistent world) who professed to be a huge fan of Iris's and possibly Sabine or Llewain's. He was a trifle creepy at Iris, but she gave him the magic comb she's been holding on to but not using for ever, and Llewain graciously parted with his spring. (We'll miss you, spring!)

We decided to set sail for Carina after all, after trying to set a location using the compass of Heart's Desire, which notably no longer worked for anyone. A curious flaw; it's hard to say whether the compass was engineered to have worked for the crown as part of Dinta's plot to get the crown, or if we've done something or been affected by something to make it lose its power. It notably may also have been stolen from us by one of the many people moving against us and replaced with a fake, given our track record. In any case, Carina did hold the potential to resolve the trouble with Dinta, as well as visit Denar's hometown, apparently, so we decided to head that way. The journey was uneventful, with the exception of a massive, dead sea serpent we ran into along the way. Seeing that it wasn't possible to harvest the meat for anything edible, we hacked it apart so we could pass (when I say 'we', I mean 'Sabine, and some of our twenty-some-odd faceless NPC guys). Something like eight days later we arrived in Nys once more, where the port authority was suspiciously friendly to us and seemed to have been informed of our impending arrival by someone of influence who wanted to ensure we were not obstructed when entering the city.

When we tried to leave and head for Lunel, however, as well as Denar's secret village or whatnot, we found the way blocked by four guards (possibly paladins of Sulafta) who informed us kindly that they'd been asked to meet us by Bishop Dinta, and that he was, in fact, in Nys and not Lunel, so they could take us to him now.

We debated whether we wished to meet him or not, but the answer was, more or less, not and so, we politely informed them that we were going to go to Lunel and he could meet us there if he really desired to speak with us. The crowd around us seemed to be taking notice of us, and it seemed as though possibly there might be trouble about to brew as heads turned, noticing our conversation. At our declaration that we would not meet with Dinta, the guards drew their swords. All around us, we heard the sounds of more swords being unsheathed, as many of Dinta's agents stepped forward.

Llewain drew his knife, shrugging, and Esra stepped forward, shouting "Do you not know who you are dealing with? We are the Hurdu Trading Company!" He meanwhile completed casting a spell to summon a massive illusion, and gestured at the sky, guiding their eyes up as what appeared to be a gold dragon flew up over the city from the sea, roaring, its wings seeming to beat great puffs of air as it circled, seemingly at Esra's command.

Instantly, the town went into a panic, and the many agents who'd surrounded us faded back into the fleeing crowd, running with it. This left only the four who'd first challenged us, who swore that they'd made oaths to take us to Dinta and would not renege on those oaths. They immediately started attacking Esra (wise choice!) while Llewain, Sabine and Denar set about stabbing, crushing, and slicing them up, in turn. Even Iris helped out, whacking them to try to draw their attention off.

They were not phased, however, and one cut a mighty blow to Esra right off the bat, briefly breaking his control over the illusion. It stilled before he could regain control, and they noticed. Their leader told the others, "Keep attacking the wizard! It's working, it's breaking his control over the dragon!"

Esra very nearly went down before Llewain, Sabine and Denar could finish the guards off. Having lost concentration again, he couldn't make the dragon seem to fly off realistically, and when it did fade away, it was still partially in view of the town, alas. The two remaining guards, once Llewain knocked out the second one, surrendered, asking to be spared so they might save their fallen friends at the nearest temple. The party agreed, though Denar seemed to be out for blood, and Esra chided him for the attitude; Llewain made a point to tell them to reconsider their vows to Bishop Dinta, and Iris agreed that they were on their way to Lunel to make known his heresy and that he might not be the best person to follow so blindly.

When Esra nearly fell, as the guards left, Sabine started teasing him. Denar caught him before he could collapse.

Denar: You don't look too well, friend.
Esra: Hey, are-- there two Sabines, or am I just hallucinating?
Denar: You're hallucinating.
Esra: Oh, good. I don't think I could handle two.
Sabine: Pushover!

Fortunately, Iris had some blessings of Sulafta on hand, so she healed Esra as best she could before they set out again towards Lunel, marching on till the middle of the night. By the time they reached the city of the Grand Cathedral, Esra was pretty weak, and asked if they could rest. Sabine told him to quit whining, and Llewain and Iris suggested that they'd best bring their evidence to the other bishops immediately, heading in to the Grand Cathedral to seek a midnight council with Bishop Barlowe, whom we believe to be a more honest man, and likely to take offense at Bishop Dinta's plan.

We'll find out what he thinks next week, it seems!

So a little while back (maybe a week?) we watched the latest Lupin III special.

A little diatribe about Lupin III. I love the show, and Lupin, and I love Monkey Punch; I love the specials and totally look forward to them. Even if they don't actually have a government committee in Japan devoted to making more Lupin III stuff, I feel like they should, because-- like Batman, or Sherlock Holmes, or the original Arsene Lupin-- Lupin III has become a cultural icon.

This year was nerve-wracking because Lupin III is old enough that some of the VAs simply had to stop doing the characters. The original Lupin III VA passed away in 1995 after working very hard on the last special he was part of, but was replaced by a guy who has been absolutely respectful of the original Lupin's voice and done his best to mimic the original voice as closely as possible. Recent specials had seen a significant decline in the prominence of Zenigata as a character because Naya Goro has throat cancer and the demands of doing Zenigata's voice were a bit much to deal with.

This year, Fujiko, Goemon and Zenigata were replaced as their VAs stepped down, meaning the only original VA left on the project is my beloved Jigen. So, we were terrified by the prospect of the voices sounding nothing like the originals. Would Fujiko still have that certain way of speaking? That inflection of seductress but also kind of playful thief-girl?

Would Zenigata still be loveably devoted to the pursuit of criminals, but also capable of showing compassion when he saw that Lupin was not the greatest threat?

Would Goemon-- well, no, I wasn't really worried about Goemon. I like the guy, and he's hilarious, but well, he didn't have as distinct a voice because he doesn't talk too much. But he does need to be gruff!

Not only were the new VAs just as respectful and dedicated as new Lupin from 1995 in their effort to bring the characters to life in a similar, though unique, fashion, but the story also went out of its way to kind of celebrate all that Lupin is. Lupin III sometimes doesn't reference where he came from, but every now and then he refers to his grandfather, Arsene Lupin, the amazing thief and ladykiller-- the genius, the man by whom Lupin III measures himself. In this special, we not only got to see the show embracing a Japanese myth and using that as the framework for the plot (celebrating the fact that it's still a Japanese cultural icon), while also having the resolution directly reliant on the original Lupin acting exactly as the character would have in the theoretical situation of discovering a beautiful woman. He's painted as a supernaturally lucky and intuitive figure, which fits, and is definitely Lupin III's role-model without over-shadowing him.

I loved the special because it was everything I desire from the franchise. The side characters were some of the most adorable ever, and there were all sorts of nods to earlier shows and movies and even the comics in there. What was best was, for the first time in a while, all human characters were drawn in that same iconic style. Recent specials have often mixed 'standard anime style of the current era' with the Lupin-specific characters still drawn more or less as they always have been. This one went back to the Miyazaki style of the original TV show in the 70's, and Castle Cagliostro. I loved it! It also let them re-define the look of characters whose VAs had been replaced. New Fujiko is a little younger again, instead of that hot MILF look she was getting more recently; new Zenigata had a distinctly different face and nose, while keeping the chin and the mascara eyes. Goemon has lost the bags under his eyes.

It's all really exciting because, to me, it shouts boldly "We're going to keep on going! Fear not!" after about three years of worrying, year to year: is this the end for Lupin III? Without Naya Goro, will the show be able to continue?

I feel pretty confident, now, that it will. And I'm glad! Because I will always be a fan of all Arsene Lupins, even Lupin XXIII or whoever that caused Pycal to travel back in time to kill Lupin III.

Edit: Oh yes! D&D happened yesterday!

Sabine fought and killed a Flail-Snail! We used the anti-magic rod to destroy the puzzle house and chased off the crazy old man who had staged it. And then we went to Vellas to return to our ship. In between was much goofiness and some sexual innuendo to do with rods shooting light out of them; good times, good times.