Captain Awesome and the Spacecapades

1. Bra shopping

( I had to get new bras. )

2. Movie time with Emma

( The gist of this is, Mirror Mirror is a romantic comedy, but I was expecting better of it. )

I will say it tried a little, though, and Sean Bean does know how to tug at the heartstrings a bit.

Movie could have used more dwarf scenes. They were seriously the best part.

Oh! And who put in the drawn out "attacked by badly animated CGI puppets" scene? Seriously, that was just-- not funny or entertaining. It just felt long to sit through.

Final complaint: Just say the whole name. "Snow" is a dumb nickname. Every time someone called her Snow, I wanted to reach through the screen and punch them.

Interesting note: I did have dreams the following morning that involved being pestered by the robot other-self of Julia Roberts, who I kept grabbing by the head to snap her neck. She unfortunately kept reappearing and butting in on whatever it was I was doing in my dream, so I kept doing it. It wasn't a violent or evil act in the dream, but it felt odd to have been dreaming about something like that when I woke up. Mostly I was frustrated that it required so much effort, but wasn't permanent because she was a robot.

3. The neighbors

I met our actual neighbor last night. The one who was screaming for help the night I called.

She, as we suspected, thought we were making ALL of the 911 calls, and that we were complaining about noise, and I explained what had happened. Why I had called, and only called once.

She told me how upset she was. (She was a little tipsy and holding an open can of Bud Light, so probably feeling pretty vulnerable.) She's trying to get her son back. She was trying to do a nice thing for friends of hers across the street who'd been evicted by letting them stay at her place. These friends are the ones who fight all the time and have gotten her the eviction notice. These friends are the ones whose presence have led to her boyfriend abusing her, and beating her the night I called. These friends left pot in her apartment, which nearly got her arrested.

I told her how upset I had been that the police did nothing to help her, and that I had called because I was worried about her; never about the noise. Never because I would want to kick someone out of their home.

She said, "I don't know where I'm going to go. And it just-- sucks. Because I never even got to properly introduce myself to you guys, you know? I didn't want to be the shitty neighbor."

I held out my hand and told her my name.

She shook my hand and told me hers.

I told her I hope things get better for her. Soon.

Her boyfriend came home while we were talking, and after he went into her apartment, she leaned in and whispered,

"I'm really glad you did call. Thank you. I'm really glad you did."

And then I cried for a while. I'm really glad I called, too. Even if the police didn't do anything to help her, even if I've contributed to any of the bad stuff, even if we have to live in fear until the eviction is done.

Maybe it made some tiny difference for her to know that someone heard her and cared. I really hope so.

I don't know how to do better than what I tried to do. I can't offer her a place to stay, or a way out. I wish there was something concrete I could do. I do think I might start volunteering somewhere, or at least look more heavily into jobs where I could help people who are really in need, more like this. I had already looked a little, but I was being kind of a wuss about it and letting myself be chased off by the fact that I don't have the prerequisite qualifications yet. Maybe I can get them.

4. D&D

I am still mopey now, and was definitely mopey in the morning, with regards to the conversation I had with the neighbor. D&D fortunately was scheduled for today though, and that helped to keep my mind off of it for the most part. (It's pretty hard to be mopey when your friends are being awesome at you.) We did start late because Bret bailed on us without letting us know earlier in the day, so we were waiting for him to show up; but we had a blast. The group we ended up with has a great dynamic!

Most of the session was spent alternately kicking ass and making fun of the Ice King-- er, Winter King, but we couldn't resist calling him Ice King, really-- as we explored his mysterious castle and took out his creepy army. The gist of things was, back in Sweetgrove, winter had mysteriously started out in the middle of late spring, and everyone was puzzled by the sudden, unseasonal snow. A magic flying boat full of undead warriors crashlanded in town and started attacking everyone. By the time Tamli and Charlie drove off the jerks, they'd already killed a guy; and it turned out that the winter would be eternal if we couldn't return the Ice King's scepter.

We did end up returning it, but then the guy had the gall to ask us to kneel before him. While Charlie politely gave it a shot, Tamli, Alice and Damien were having none of that, and with Charlie's reluctant assistance we were able to trash him. (A lot of this session involved Tamli shouting victoriously over fallen foes, Charlie neatly and efficiently clobbering things when they least expected it, Alice wearing the mysterious Ice Crown and sneaking around in the nude, and Damien discerning magical secrets with his keen eyes and other senses. There was also a point where Damien breathed fire for a bit, which was awesome!)

When we got back, Tamli rushed off to the church to resurrect the civilian who'd been downed by the undead soldiers. She'll be spending the next two weeks helping work the poor guy's farm while he rests up. That frees up Fletcher to be available to help the town guard, who Danny hilariously joked are close to installing a Batman-esque signal with a bow and arrow on to summon him.

Ultimately, we returned back home richer, but it took us long enough that a big group dinner was needed to refuel us afterward.

Tomorrow I get to see my brother, since he's in town. I'm very excited to see him! He also sent me a mystery text around midnight...curious!

I've made my meager (possibly financially unwise, but hopefully sound) contributions to two of the politicians in my state who are fighting the reprehensible HB 2625, and trying to put forth anti-bullying legislation to actually help children. I'm not rich, and that's not likely to change any time soon, but damn it, the only part of the country I have any ounce of ability to change is the one I live in.

So I've decided to do what I can. Not just voting-- though that's important too-- but putting my money where my mouth is.

Yesterday, we completed the module for ModuleMonday, and killed the mighty Orcus. Next week, I'll be running Steampunk London; just have to decide what system it's in. It sounded like neither Emma nor Melissa could make it otherwise, though I might check with Emma one last time. (Melissa definitely can't.)

Should find out today whether to be panicking or get back to my life. So that's something!

So say a guy gets drunk, buddy buddy with some other guy while he's drunk, and they go off somewhere to sleep it off together. A few weeks after waking up the next morning, the first guy discovers that he's feeling kind of sick, and getting swollen, like there's some kind of hideous parasite living inside his guts. Turns out the other guy put it there.

Is the first guy at fault?

I just ask because this seems to be a common attitude towards rape victims, and that annoys me. The "qualifying factors" don't matter. It doesn't matter what the clothing worn was, the behavior was, it doesn't matter if they consented at first because they were too inebriated to realize they didn't want to have sex. Choosing to get someone drunk in order to try to trick them into having sex with you would be a criminal act, so why are you defending the criminal? Trying to force someone else to do something they wouldn't normally want to do is criminal no matter how you slice it. Especially if it results in putting a parasitic creature inside the other person that could very well kill that person. (Yes, childbirth can kill! It can also wound someone for the rest of their life if it DOESN'T kill them! It's not some awesome thing to be carrying the child of someone you didn't want to have sex with in the first place, all right.)

Should there be degrees? Totally. A pair of folks who were BOTH drunk and out of it and then fucked? I think that needs to be talked out, not criminalized. But the majority of cases of rape that even get reported are not situations like this, and making excuses about it is ridiculous.

The annoying thing is, I see great, forward-thinking writing on the subject often, but the commenters on these much-more-trafficked-than-my-piddly-blog sites will generally chorus in with a lot of judgmental trash about how 'still but women shouldn't be wearing XYZ, it's SO slutty'. Dude, NO. Women should be allowed to wear whatever, and you should be adult enough to either walk by unaffected, or if it's in YOUR HOUSE to politely ask the woman if she could wear something a little less sexy, since it's distracting for you.

Anyway, serious post tax. Making interesting criminals for a city!

How I did it:

1. Roll 3d6. The number you roll is the number of active, non-imprisoned criminals currently out and about in town.
2. Make a numbered list, but no names yet. Roll 1d6 for each criminal; odds are male, evens female.
3. Now fill out the names as fit the naming scheme of your setting.
4. Create a 12-option list of potential crimes. See below for mine.
5. Roll 2d6 on the list for each criminal and assign as you see fit.
6. Assign nicknames that the locals might use to refer to the criminal.

Ta-da!

Example:

1 - F - Eloise - 1 - Effigy Eloise
2 - F - Marie - 4 - Mad Marie the Slasher
3 - F - Cecelia - 8 - Cecelia of the Moors
4 - M - Claude - 1 - Kerosene Claude
5 - M - Maurice - 1 - Matchstick Maurice
6 - M - Raoul - 6 - Raoul Redcheeks
7 - F - Perrine - 11 - Perrine the Pickpocket
8 - F - Seraphine* - 12 - Seraphine Sweetness
9 - F - Suzanne - 3 - Suzanne Stabber

Chart:
1 Arson
2 Rape
3 Murder
4 Violent crime (not murder)
5 Graffiti
6 Public indecency
7 Libel/slander
8 Political crime
9 Bombing
10 Serial murder
11 Theft
12 Innocent of whatever charges

* - The hilarious coincidence of Seraphine being innocent was totally unplanned, but hooray for luck and online dice rollers!

I won't pretend I lean to anything but silly alliterative names, because that would be misleading, but y'know, people who aren't me might have better luck with serious names (and criminals).

Also, if you are a D&D buddy and missed it, the post below has thoughts on handling resurrection in tabletop if you're interested. Check it out.

~The Tale of the Black Knight~

Broad summary + some dialogue.

Not many days ago, Dame Varnell received a mysterious invitation from the Black Knight, a mysterious fellow who'd been active in the region many years ago, but quieter lately. His goons had raided a local village, and while they'd also stolen many other artifacts, they'd kidnapped an elderly woman named Gertrude as well. Taking it upon her honor to save fair Gertrude, Dame Varnell accepted the invitation, which had challenged her to participate in a jousting match with several other knights famous in the region. The winner, it was said, would later battle against the Black Knight himself.

Dame Varnell is a knight errant who travels the kingdom, righting wrongs-- even, in her own words, the wrongs that others do not perceive as being wrong. Around ten years ago, this resulted in a run-in with a young would-be thief by the name of Farin Attar, known in his city of origin by the other street urchins as 'Whistler' due to his prominent missing front tooth, which he lost in a scuffle that also left him with a prominent facial scar.

When they met, it was under the circumstances of thief and mark; Whistler attempted to steal some coins of value from Dame Varnell, and was caught by her instead. After making it abundantly clear that he could not escape her, she made it her personal mission to see to it that he became a man of honor and righteousness, and took him on as her unwilling squire. Through their years of association and travel, he seems to have become fond of her as a surrogate parental figure, and while he probably wouldn't always admit it out loud, actions speak louder than words-- at twenty two, he's pretty old to be a squire, yet he followed her on this trip as well, into the keep of the Black Knight-- this time, leading her horse.

[Disclaimer: NPC names may be incorrectly spelled!]

Inside the castle, we encountered the Black Knight's man-servant, Revitt, who greeted us and informed us that he would see the horse to the stable. Following that, he showed us to the room set aside for Dame Varnell, which had a single bed and the look of a room that had not been cleaned up for use until very, very recently. After making it abundantly clear that we were not to go to any rooms that were locked, but were otherwise welcome to wander the castle as we wished, Revitt left us in peace, warning us that he would fetch Dame Varnell when she was to participate in a jousting match.

After some quick discussion amongst ourselves, the Dame Varnell made it clear that she wished to meet the other knights of the joust formally, as it was only proper. Whistler followed dutifully.

-Dame Varnell met Riana, who talked about shieldmaidens and special bonds in great detail. She explained that her shield sister, Taris, and herself were incredible in battle and their bond was such that they traveled everywhere together. Whistler's eyebrows nearly scurried up into his hairline at all that suggestive talk.

RIANA: I'm somewhat famous in these parts. My shieldsister Taris and I will wipe the floor with the competition in this tournament, I'm looking forward to it.
DAME VARNELL: I see. Well, besides your charming but misplaced confidence, I am very pleased to meet you, Dame Riana. I am Dame Francesca Varnell. I serve as knight errant in these lands. *grand gesture*
RIANA: Hah! I've never heard of you.
WHISTLER: *frown* So if you're so tough, how's it going to go when you have to fight this Taris? All of the competitors have to fight each other.
RIANA: *waves her hand in dismissal* We may be shieldsisters, but she'll have to accept her inevitable loss when she is pitted against me. *eyeing him disapprovingly* Are you competing in the joust? You lack...muscle.
WHISTLER: *bristling* Wh- I-!! *folds arms sulkily across his chest*
DAME VARNELL: Ah, no, Attar is my squire. He is not ready for such a competition!

-Then we knocked on the door of our next-room neighbors. Met Renk, who was unfriendly towards Varnell, but seemed to like Whistler and invited him in for drinks. He asked how much money Whistler had on him at that moment and Ehistler went along to gather info. While Varnell tried to visit the last room of the contestants (locked, no answer) and then investigated the storage closet, Whistler assured Renk he had no money on him, had a swig of whiskey, offered some wine, and after a couple of unsubtle attempts on Renk's part to ascertain whether Whistler was 'one of his' or not, Whistler lied and said he was. He then discovered that Renk and his pal, Stimdon, had received a letter from 'the Boss' (who Whistler assumed was the Black Knight) saying to watch over Varnell using the peephole and make sure she didn't cause trouble or go snooping around in search of Gertrude. The letter also said that they would end up imprisoned if they failed, and suggested in no uncertain terms that the Boss intended to kill all upstanding persons personally during the proceedings. Whistler engineered an opportunity to read the letter by casually asking if Renk had checked it for secret messages. Renk made it clear he would try to kill Whistler if Whistler lied, and that he would know if Whistler did. The note also mentioned two women, a younger woman as well as Gertrude. Whistler only pretended that there might be a message, but overall simply read the letter and returned it. He assured Renk that he'd been sent by the Boss to ensure that Renk and Stimdon were well-rested for the joust. While in the room he also checked the back wall of their room for secret doors beneath the tapestry, but found nothing.

-Stimdon returned to the room and was suspicious of Whistler. His hostility to Whistler transferred to Renk, so Whistler played on Renk's hurt, promising to be his buddy and reinforcing Renk's trust in him, as if they were all in on it. When pressed for credentials, Whistler played a risky bid, claiming that Stimdon could just kill him, but what would that prove? If he didn't want to sleep that was fine, but as it stood, Whistler was there to keep an eye on the old lady to spare them the neck pains that would otherwise result from using the peephole. Stimdon urged him to get back to work then, not trusting him anyway.

[Inside of The Scary Thugs's Guest Chambers, Whistler is trying to gather information about the competition, since the odds seem stacked against the Lady Varnell. He is trying to play it cool.]

WHISTLER: Oh, hey, was there any secret message stuff in your letter? You know how the Boss stashes those in there sometimes.
RANK: Huh?
WHISTLER: You want me to check it for ya? I'll look and see.
RANK: Oh, sure. I'm not too good with that sort of stuff, but uh.
[He gives Whistler the piece of paper, and then points his dagger menacingly at Whistler's throat.]
RANK: If you lie to me, though, I'll know.
WHISTLER: Right. Well, hmm.

[The letter states, in no uncertain terms, that the Black Knight has hired Rank and Stimdon to keep an eye on Lady Varnell by use of the peep hole in her room; it goes on to assert that the joust will see to it that all non-Chaotic persons shall be crushed, and that Rank and Stimdon will reap the rewards as the Black Knight's right hand man. Further, the Black Knight needs them to ensure that Lady Varnell doesn't search the castle and find the old woman or the young lady he's kidnapped and is questioning at the moment, lest Stimdon and Rank wish to end up in a cell beside them.]

WHISTLER: [gulp] Hmmm. Well, this all looks pretty legit, but if you move the 'e' here, see how these letters line up? That could be a message saying to keep watch tonight if things go south. But it might be nothing, you never know. [he hands it back to Rank]
RANK: Tonight? I didn't know we were gonna be here that long. Figured we'd just kill everybody in the joust.
WHISTLER: It's probably a back up plan.

[STIMDON returns and is displeased to see WHISTLER there.]

STIMDON: Who the hell is this?
RANK: Come on in, Stimdon, I'll tell you all about it. He's workin' for the boss too.
STIMDON: Oh yeah? Has he got the you-know-what that proves he works for the boss, like we do? [suspicious look]
WHISTLER: What, are you saying you don't trust me? [spreads his hands]
STIMDON: No, I don't. I trust one person here, and that's me and ONLY me.
WHISTLER: Not even Rank? That's pretty vain.
STIMDON: ONLY me. Right, Rank?
RANK: [hurt] But I thought- we could trust each other, and only each other. I guess, if that's not true, then I only trust ME...and my new buddy here.
WHISTLER: Thanks, Rank. I trust you, too.
RANK: Right!
STIMDON: Ugh! Just kill him, he's working for the old woman anyway, isn't he?
WHISTLER: Fine! Kill me, and spend the whole night staring out that cramped peephole while you watch over the old lady. [he shakes his head] Don't be stupid. The boss sent me here to make sure you get plenty of sleep for the final round of the joust tomorrow. We can't have you guys at less than top shape to handle the uh, competition, now can we?
STIMDON: Sleepin' does sound mighty nice.
WHISTLER: It does, doesn't it? So if you don't mind, I'm gonna do my job and you do yours-- like the Boss told you to!
STIMDON: Well then what the hell are you doin' in here? Get out there and keep an eye on her!
WHISTLER: Fine, fine--

[He leaves, finding Dame Varnell in the hall]

WHISTLER: [whispering hoarsely] Lady Varnell oh boy I think we're in big big trouble! Let's get out of here! Let's-- let's go for a walk! Come on, let's go!
DAME VARNELL: Oh, there you are, Attar. I suppose the occupant of this room is not in, so we may as well go for a walk, if you wish.
WHISTLER: [still whispering as they walk up the hall] I- I just read a letter, okay? From the Black Knight. A-a-and he's keeping Gertrude and some young lady--
DAME VARNELL: No, Attar, I think the young lady he's referring to IS Gertrude.
WHISTLER: [flat expression; sigh] No, the letter mentioned two women, actually. But they're being held in his prison here somewhere, and those big goons are gonna try and kill everybody in the joust!

[We pass a closet.]

DAME VARNELL: That closet there contains a wealth of ordinary household supplies, Attar. There's even a long pole.
WHISTLER: [brightening] Ten feet long?
DAME VARNELL: Yes, I think so-- and sacks of feed and various cleaning supplies...
WHISTLER: [shaking himself] I'm a thief, I have SOME pride in taking things that are actually of value, you know.
DAME VARNELL: Oh yes, quite.

-Whistler related what he'd heard to Dame Varnell in the hall as she tried to greet the mystery knights again and they still didn't answer. She waved it off and misinterpreted part of what he was relating as being a slight to Gertrude. He reaffirmed that there were two women, and people aiming to kill Dame Varnell. She suggested they explore the castle for now, and he followed doggedly, trying to warn her more along the way. She informed him of the contents of the storage closet as they passed it, to which he briefly brightened. Then, they were summoned for a joust!

-Dame Varnell's first opponent was Taris, shieldsister of Riana. She won! Her form was so incredible she shattered her lance on Taris's shield and unseated Taris on the first pass. Whistler was so surprised he exploded into cheering for her. Taris was a sore loser, and very angrily stalked off. Riana wanted to follow her, but her match was next. Everyone had turned out for the jousts, but Dame Varnell and Whistler returned to the castle to 'rest'.

-They met no one in the halls, and then unstuck the door to, and stepped inside a room just to the west of the front room. (Left coming back in.)

-There were many suits of armor, holding axes and black shields, and one with a red shield at the front. In the far corner stood a mysterious creature, glowering. There was also a lever on the south wall, in the middle of the room. Not thinking, Whistler stepped forward, with Dame Varnell behind him, to investigate the lever. The two armors nearest them swung their axes, a trap that cleaved through Attar's leather armor and flesh with vicious acuity, knocking him and Dame Varnell down. Coughing up blood, he passed out instantly. Only bruised, but still hurt (and worried for Attar), Dame Varnell hid by the door, bandaging her friend. Though she was able to stop the bleeding, the trap reset while she'd been bandaging him. She tried depressing the red shield, and it deactivated again. She then went to the lever Whistler'd pointed out. She then played with the lever, which was 'up.' At midway, the trap was deactivated; at 'down', another armor (a golem) fell apart in the back corner, but the trap was reset. She proceeded to the far door, trying to open it. She could not, even with the skeleton that Revitt had given us. She returned to Whistler, using shields from some of the armors to throw at the red shield and depress it. When she succeeded, she carried Whistler back to the room.

-She did not encounter anyone on the way, and was able to get him to the room without incident. She kindly laid him in the bed and tucked him in so he'd be warm. She was then summoned to joust! He wondered what'd happened, but remembered once she explained to him. He wished her luck but opted to sit the joust out when she was summoned.

Danny: Okay, you make it back to your room with the single bed. Do you lay Whistler out on the floor?
Dustin: *primly* No, he's hurt, so I lay him out on the bed.
Dev: Aw!
Danny: After a few minutes, he stirs!
WHISTLER: ...ergh...Lady Varnell? What happened...?
DAME VARNELL: We discovered a trap in the armory! You were nearly sliced in two.
WHISTLER: *feeling his stomach* Oh, yeah. I kinda remember that. That was scary!
DAME VARNELL: I then examined the lever you were going to examine, and discovered that it could be used to disable the trap entirely. I couldn't proceed into the next room without your assistance, however, so I decided it was best for us to make a retreat.
WHISTLER: *weak chuckle* I-
REVITT: *knock knock* Dammmme Varnellll, you have beennn....summmonnnned for your nexxxxt jousssssst.
WHISTLER: I- think I'm gonna sit this one out, milady.
DAME VARNELL: Yes, please rest, Attar! Recover your strength.
WHISTLER: *grin* I'm rootin' for ya!

-Her second opponent was the Just Sir Bryon. They fought many passes without being able to unseat each other, but she triumphed in the end! Notably, Sir Bryon had very, very shiny armor!

-While Dame Varnell was fighting her opponent, Whistler weakly snuck out and into Renk and Stimdon's room. He'd seen that they had a healing potion stashed here when he'd been in it before, and quaffed some of it, re-examining the letter to be sure he hadn't missed anything. He also checked around the room; but nothing. He may have checked the peep hole to figure out where it was? He returned to their room and began writing about their exploits, lest they should meet doom in the castle!

-When Dame Varnell returned, Whistler blocked the peep hole and offered vaguely that she should drink of 'this', handing her the rest of the healing potion. She was surprised but pleased. With the last drops of it, he followed her out of the room and created a false trail of potion leading from Renk and Stimdon's room to the room shared by Riana and Taris, leaving the bottle in the corner by their room to try to allay suspicions from himself. He then followed Dame Varnell back to the room they'd been investigating before. She showed him how to deactivate the trap, and he was impressed.

-Whistler unlocked the door for her. In the next room were two suits of armor, a wall lined with weapons, a bag of grain, and five chests.

-Part Two coming up later!-

Man! D&D last night was awesome. We fought our way through the rest of a dungeon. I might have more time to post the summary later today, so hopefully that'll catch us all up! Suffice it to say, despite a lack of Sabine, we had great fun! Also, Llewain spent most of the dungeon naked.

I've never participated in a game mechanics discussion very heatedly, but recently Danny's been questioning the way Turn Undead works in various editions (searching for the best), and also started considering potential alternatives to default handling for Wizards memorizing spells in D&D Basic up through D&D 3.5.

Turn Undead's come up because of the recent Legends and Lore post by Mike Mearls on the subject. As most of the responders, Danny's against the idea of the proposed 5th edition alteration that makes Turn Undead a class feature for all Clerics, and puts the effects of that feature in monster stats in the monster manual instead of the player's hand.

My personal opinion on the subject is somewhat simple, since I've only played a few clerics, and rarely played a cleric built around the ability to Turn Undead.

1. Not every cleric worships a deity who gives a shit about the undead. Some deities like the undead, too. Some clerics are evil. So why should turn undead be a class feature? This only severely limits a class that is currently one of the most varied and potentially interesting.

2. The defense "Undead aren't scary enough because Clerics can turn them" brings up two big problems for me. Most important is this: the game is not about keeping the DM's monsters alive because they're oh so cool! Yes, we all want our badass villain to be appreciated and respected by the players. We all also know that the average tabletop player is gleefully irreverent. You know how in 80's movies, the characters are ALWAYS cheesily sassing the villains, even when the villains totally outclass them? Yes, well, most people default to that attitude when playing tabletop. You can take away their power to get rid of the undead without slogging, level-drained and annoyed, through a two-hour battle, but you can't take away their power to snark at you and your monsters. I assure you that a party that HAS to fight the undead, even if they'd rather be able to crush them instantly or run away, is going to be a lot snarkier (and likely sulkier) than a party granted all three options.

3. Undead are not the majority of the enemies I encounter in D&D. I know this must vary from DM to DM, but in the games where I have played Clerics, here's how it actually went down.

Iron Kingdoms (Witchfire Trilogy, reimagined by DM): Most enemies were living or robots; when undead appeared, I could only turn them 1/5 or 1/6 times because I was level 2 and the enemies were level 10. Literally. (The DM later told us as much, impressed we hadn't been murdered yet.)

Kingdoms of Kalamar: We encountered no undead at all. That was fine, since my Cleric was a Cleric of freedom and travel.

4E module (Keep on the Shadowfell): A couple of Undead encounters. I was able to turn some basic zombies when we were deep inside the Keep and trying to rest, but on other attempts I missed.

D&D Basic module (First Quest): Used Turn Undead twice to keep an Undead encounter from attacking us. Instead of fighting them, we walked past (pressed for time) and completed the task needed to save our lives. On the way back, did the same. We walked past, rested in a safer room, and left.

Notably, in all four of these examples, we still had to fight quite a few things that weren't undead. Faced with these, I had no means to send them packing.

4. The power isn't 100% reliable as written in most editions. Generally, even though in AD&D the power says: Cleric can turn up to 2d6 undead creatures if the attack succeeds and hits, that means only once every thirty-six battles is a cleric going to be able to do their max turning (assuming, of course, that they even succeed at hitting the enemies). Furthermore, the chart for the ability also states which level of Undead you can turn based on your own level. The enemies are ALSO only turned in order of weakest to strongest. So say you have six undead, and a level six cleric Turns them. Well, that Cleric rolls low, only a three. Not only does that Cleric only turn the three zombies, that means that the Cleric has now drawn the attention of the remaining three vampires, or whatever. That's nothing to sneeze at!

When you get right down to it, as far as I can tell the complaint about Turn Undead essentially equates to this: 'Players have the ability to surprise the DM with this skill, and can alter the course of the game. I don't feel like they should be able to do so so easily.'

As a DM, and having heard from other DMs, I can honestly say that the best moments in running a game ARE when the players surprise you. It can be kind of boring to be stuck playing arbiter otherwise. Moments where the players do unusually well or hilariously poorly are the moments that everyone remembers about their games, DM and player alike. Trying to take that out of the realm of possibility sounds like anything but fun.

Anyway. Oof, I'm extremely tired today and I'm not precisely certain why.

Here is an article that everyone should read.

What is it about: Healthcare, family planning (that is to say, being allowed to plan your family instead of forced to allow someone else to do as they like), maternal mortality (that is, death because of pregnancy or attempted illegal abortions during pregnancy).

What is the TL;DR of this article?: Numbers prove that, like prohibition, anti-abortion activists are only putting us at risk by suggesting that abortion be stopped. In countries where abortion is legal, it is less common. In countries where it is not, it is often the only option for women who are denied access to contraceptives.

What is the secondary TL;DR?: Women cannot be given equal standing in a society that denies them the right to control how many children they have, and when they have them.

So make it up to me, now I'm kind of depressed about how shitty things are for women internationally!: I'm planning for a short Steampunk London (yes yes it's cliche, blah blah) game, and I need to decide on some Details!

1.) The game will be short enough that I plan to do a short comic of each session's events for the players to refer to. Should this comic be:

a) In color?
b) A specific length (short or long?)
c) available on just the journal(s), or also DeviantArt?

2.) The game will be a sandbox (In essence: A fully designed setting with all the NPCs, treasure, what not I expect could possibly come up already planned; I will give the players the map of London, the low-down, and they will decide what THEY want to do without any This is Your Mission nonsense from me. It is meant to be a silly, fun game). Should I...

a) Make the map a little like a pop-up book?
b) Make the map just flat, with tokens or whatever on top of it?
c) Give only a description, not the map, and let the players make their own map?

3.) Finally, if you'd like to contribute to the setting a little, comment with a person, place, or thing you think would be awesome to find in AU, Magic-is-Real! Steampunk London, and I will work it in!

Edit: Man, does anybody else hate cutesy speak with a passion? Sometimes I read internet stuff and I wonder if I'm alone in that. (From porn that talks of a woman's "clitty" to fandom squeeing over predictable 'ambiguously' gay nicknames in anime to discussion of Game of Thrones' end and whining about the 'cliffy' lasting forever...seriously, what? Am I weird for thinking this is, well, weird?)

Nervous about the test drive tonight. I want to walk in, find that the car is exactly what I was expecting, that the price has not skyrocketed, that the trade-in value of my old car is enough to knock out the cost of the warranty over BBV so there won't be issues with my loan-- basically, if everything goes well, I want to walk out of the dealership owning a new car that drives well, safely, efficiently, reliably. There's not really any good reason this shouldn't happen, but I worry anyway.

D&D last night was excellent, including such highlights as fighting a black pudding with a green slime! I'm behind on the summary, I know, but this car-buying nonsense has sort of gotten in the way of doing anything but worry about it for a few days. In the meantime, here's how the black pudding troubles went down:

[Llewain opens a secret door. Behind it is a massive black ooze! We shut it quickly, and Esra desperately tries to remember details about such creatures.]

Esra: Wait. Wait! I think-- creatures like that are known to dissolve metal, not just people. You shouldn't attack it with anything made of metal unless you want to lose it, and your armor--
Llewain: I've maces made of stone, then!
Denar (who has become Kelta, long story): Yes, and my weapon is made of shell.
Sabine: Well shiiiit.
[Llewain throws open the secret door again]
Llewain: Foul ooze! [he strikes it with a stone mace]
[It splits into two oozes.]
Esra: Oh, dear. Let's see if we can't stop this here.
[He polymorphs one of the two oozes into a canary, which then flies away. Sabine strikes the other. It splits.]
Iris: Confound it, Sabine!
Sabine: [innocently] What?

[Eventually we give up and run back out. We discover, down a not-secret corridor, a room of green slime, which is clinging to the ceiling.]

Llewain: Wait. I have an idea. The fire didn't kill the black ooze from before, but we've seen this slime at work before; anything it consumes is turned into more of it.
Esra: Oh! And as Sabine demonstrated for us before, that sort of slime is quite flammable.
Llewain: Exactly. You all hide down in the interment room, and I'll lead the black ooze into the green slime. On the far side of the room I'll leap through the door and once they've been consumed you can set alight the slime and it will be safe to cross.
Iris: ...Well, if you're sure.
Llewain: It ate my armor and I'm in tattered rags, I think I'm the best candidate.
Esra: About that-- [he unties his yellow sash] Here you go, if you like.
Llewain: Oh, thanks. [He ties it thoroughly as underpants.]
(Danny: And later Esra will be all *snifffffff* Mmm, Llewain
Dev: Pfft! No! You mean Asha. Esra will be like 'no thanks, you can keep it, I have more where that came from'!)

1. Danny's brother noted him yesterday asking him for advice about DMing D&D, which was just about the coolest thing ever. I know it might not seem like much to those of you who yawn and roll your eyes whenever I talk about D&D, but it's pretty damn awesome to have someone who's just getting into tabletop say to you, personally, "Oh my gosh...this game is really cool! Please teach me everything you can about it!" I've gotten that feeling a couple of times when DMing for events at the local gamestore, and it is a VERY warm fuzzy feeling. This is so cool!

2. Dustin's going to be running a pathfinder game on Fridays, so I'm trying to decide what kind of character to play. The setting is a floating-islands-over-ravaged-planet type, with a central goddess that people never really see, but frequently worship; the floating islands were created by mages to save life, since they're higher than the endlessly hungry monsters that ate the world beneath.

Here are what I'm considering playing:

Gnome Bard - Mahi

Description: Extremely dark complexion; dark eyes, and blue-and-indigo hair. She is whimsical in her choice of speech, often rhyming intentionally or being alliterative more than one is naturally inclined to do.

Sea-Singer! (Sort of)

Obsessed with the written and spoken word. Her prized possessions are dictionaries, quills, ink, the accoutrements of writing. She is not the kind of bard who always sings, but she is totally the kind of bard who has limerick-offs with anyone who dares challenge her. Bookmaking, from tanning the hide for the cover to writing the contents of the book in question, is her deepest passion. She loves writing down everything-- even the things people would rather she didn't-- in her books. Prior to her current obsession, Mahi was into rapier-fighting, and she still duels with people regularly for sport (though not to kill). She has no concept of ownership over anything except books-- she would never take someone's books, or tools to make them, without asking or paying first. However, to her food, clothes, houses, money, horses, whatever-- that's all pretty much free for all. Mahi would probably be chaotic good. Possibly chaotic neutral in some situations.

She has long experience traveling. She is likely to abandon a ship if it lingers in the same place for too long.

Human Monk - Aigua

Description: Dark-haired, with sea-green eyes and a darker complexion. She is stocky and muscular, tanned from many years' travel, but not notably short or tall for a human. Friendly, with a tendency to be loud and rambunctious.

Monk of the Empty Hand!

Once a palace guard for royalty, Aigua used to serve as a matter of course, loyally, faithfully, until one day she was inexplicably called to trial for plotting the assassination of the very people she protected. Through her farce of a trial, she was able to see that she had been selected to avert suspicions from a nobleman of the house that was seeking to perform the very assassination she was now taking blame for. She was unable to convince the nobility of her innocence, stripped of her rank, armor and weapons, and cast into prison for several years. The assassination later occurred as the woman orchestrating it had planned, and, gloating, that woman came to taunt Aigua in her cell.

She released Aigua, as apology for using her in the plot to create greater trust between herself and the now-dead lady-warrior that had previously headed the house. Aigua made an attempt to kill her, but years of imprisonment had made her weak, and her opponent was a Witch. Amused by the attempt, she decided to curse Aigua with silence, put upon her a charm that forced her to serve whomever should hold the accompanying charm, and sent her as a house servant to a political ally. Aigua was thus forced to serve around the house of an innocent, but somewhat airheaded gentleman on a faraway island for some years.

By chance, the gentleman for whom Aigua worked befriended a wizard who, unfamiliar with woman of her complexion, considered her very beautiful. After detecting the spells upon her, he offered to remove them in exchange for her romantic affections. She refused, repulsed by the offer, but they became friends because of it, when he realized that she was quite capable of reading and writing, and could communicate with him in that way. She related her story to him, revealing the foul play of the woman who'd sold her to the man for whom she currently worked, and he brought the woman to justice with the power of the ruling nobility that backed him. When they offered to remove her curses as payment for her service in bringing the woman to justice, she agreed.

Having befriended the wizard, and having no particular ill-will to her erstwhile Lord of the house, she began to travel with the wizard. Reclaiming the full use of her voice took a lot of practice, but having been forcibly silenced for so long, she had quite a bit to say. The wizard's ultimately lawful intentions made him dear to her as a close friend, and they policed the land as best they could together, seeking out injustice or duplicity and exposing it. Though she'd once worn armor and fought with a sword, she abstained from returning to the use of them, abhoring weaponry in favor of simply using whatever came to hand.

After many years of successfully working with her friend, they parted ways, partially because she wished to keep traveling and he to settle down, and partially because they did not see eye to eye on what justice or law meant.

I kind of have a half-baked idea that the party is a bunch of airship pirates and they decided to pillage a town she happened to be in, picked her up among the rest of the people and stuff they were stealing, and then she just Could Not Be Bothered With This Shit and decided to join their crew. They were so surprised they didn't stop her.

Personality wise she probably seems much more cheerful / loud / thoughtless than she actually is, and then drops into Okay, Now We Talk Quietly and Seriously when necessary.

Alchemist Dwarf- Vode

Description: Gray-brown haired, with dark eyes and fairly pale complexion. Not many freckles. Slender, with a tendency to frown and a dour demeanor.

Not much for exploration at all, given the choice. Vode grew up in the thick of a big city, working for the guard. She comes from a long line of Dwarven guardsfolk, but her own interests proved to be more scholarly than battle-driven. Where she and her family met and could agree, however, was alchemy: the service of providing the guard cover in battle through the use of bombs. While her favorite uses of alchemical works are extracts and mutagens, she learned to make bombs as well so that she'd get along better with her family.

Vode is completely out of her element on airships, preferring to stay within bustling city streets whenever possible. (Of course, bustling city streets and cities in general want little to do with alchemists unless they're helping the guard to fight off invaders and pirates and all.) She is wily and streetsmart, a fast-talker and deeply fond of games of chance.

Why did Vode join the party? She owed a massive gambling debt and so came aboard the ship to earn enough to pay the debt off. If she doesn't succeed in a year's time, they've threatened to harm her family (children? siblings?).

(If children probably should detail how that happened.)

Cavalier Halfling OR Dwarf - Tanli

Description: Dark complexion, black hair, long and smooth, with gray eyes and a tendency to smirk.

Order of the cockatrice Cavalier

Tanli grew up knowing she was skilled and wanting to show the world that this was so. She always worked extra hard to impress her teachers-- both her parents, who trained her in the arts of battle and strategy, and her masters, who then taught her the arts of history, etiquette, and chivalry. As the only daughter of a family of lowly guardsfolk, who worked around the town doing nice stuff for free and as often as not having trouble managing to put food on the table, Tanli was expected to join the town guard and likely follow in their footsteps. This was not good enough for Tanli, who felt that not only her parents but her entire home village deserved better in life-- as well as herself.

She set out to become famous, and bring back such wealth that people would come from far and wide to see the incredible artistry and beauty of her home. She set out to accomplish as many deeds of notoriety as possible, doing such things as snatching an arrow out of the air to save the life of a kindly priest of the Goddess; rescuing sailors who were falling into the depths of the world from an attacked airship; altering the course of another airship that nearly crashed into an unoccupied, barren floating island in midst of a storm; and other such deeds of bravery. (Indeed, Tanli is not known for challenging people to battle very often, it seems.)

She makes a point of offering her services to anyone who seems to need them, and while she always requires payment, she is never unfair about it. She carefully maintains her image as one who is noble, willing to right wrongs, and is deserving of reward. She may hope to someday serve the Goddess directly.

I mostly thought this would be fun because the idea of playing a dwarf or halfling cavalier sounded too cool to pass up. Dwarf works for the serious, Justice! side, but Halfling works for the ridiculously nice, I'm Super Friendly! side.

I might be willing to go another route than order of the Cockatrice, but I kind of like it. Order of the dragon is probably the best for the party though, so whatever.

Mounts: Either a wyvern or a kirin?

A wyvern mount might be kind of hard to explain, but I like the idea of Tanli having rescued the wyvern's nest of eggs or something from certain destruction, and the wyvern then choosing to befriend her as thanks. (Or something). A kirin is really easy to explain-- young kirin are specifically hotheaded enough to go around helping out cavaliers-- but it's up to Dustin whether either of those is ok.

If he says no, I'm pretty sure I want to ride a Giant Frog with a flying saddle on, since we'll be on an airship as far as I know. I don't know if there's such a thing as a flying saddle, but if there isn't, and my mount can't fly, I'd like to make one up. Giant Frogs are like the best mounts ever. Ribbit!


3. And most importantly, D&D is tonight! So here's what I'd already written up of last week's summary:

( It's pretty long though! )

D&D was excellent last night! Dustin made me a Wild Tiger mask for Valentine's Day, because he is awesome (or just enjoys seeing me geek out) so I dutifully wore it for the whole session, except when it got too warm.

I never finished last week's summary, so here's the short version: once we'd awakened from the dream, the party was torn on what to do. We investigated Hektos to see if he'd caused the dream, and found that he'd awakened after we escaped through our own means to a mysterious explosion in the dream that was so violent said dream had ended; Sabine, Denar and Llewain questioned where Xenocrates had gotten his 'reagent' that he'd planned to use to enhance his spell, and what it was. On being told that it had to be freshly-dead brains and he'd gotten them at the night bazaar, they grew thoroughly fed up with him and told him to shut up while he was in midst of explaining how he'd learned to enhance the ESP spell from an old woman. We then proceeded to investigate said bazaar. There, we all encountered some problems-- a) that nobody decided to disguise themselves, and b) that nobody actually had any plans of what to ask the merchant when we found him-- which left us floundering for a moment. The merchant would not say exactly where he got his wares, simply that he sold the pieces of the body for smaller prices and the whole body for ten gold pieces if the party was interested. Unwilling to make such a purchase unless it were absolutely necessary (and in Iris's case, at the very least, disturbed by the idea of making such a purchase at all), the party broke away from his stall and discussed what to do. We were all agreed that Maligos, whom we suspected had been disguised as a woman in the dream realm and might come to attack us, must be found and at the very least talked with, if not stopped; we were also agreed that we wanted to look into the ritualistic murders we'd heard about before.

However, since we could not re-enter the dream realm and had no means of determining where Maligos might be physically, Esra decided to go talk to Xenocrates and find out more about the old woman he'd mentioned, since 'enhanced ESP spell' had been mentioned in the same breath as 'she was a master of dream magics'. Meanwhile, the rest of the party wandered the night, trying to look like appealing targets and lure out an ambush that we thought might be waiting for us. (I suppose 'tried' is debatable. No one divested themselves of their armor/vestments or feigned drunkenness, for example, haha!)

Esra did talk to Xenocrates, who was pouting, and tried to soothe his ruffled feathers and reassure him that he was totally awesome while asking after the old woman. Xenocrates explained that her name was Red Alexandra, and she might be able to teach the group how to control their dreams to protect themselves. He also said he could probably find her place again, provided she hadn't moved in the two years since he'd last seen her. Xenocrates also professed concern about Kristoffer, the mage who we took on some time back after changing him back from the ferret he'd been trapped as. Esra, who'd completely forgotten about poor Kris, agreed that he'd have to look into that sometime and then promptly forgot again-- once the night was over, we provisioned the ship over the next couple of days and then set sail for Lyn and Red Alexandra!

Last night picked up while we were at sea, heading towards the central island of Lyn. Shortly into our voyage, we caught sight of a ship approaching us, with a white sail. (We briefly discussed which flag we were flying at the moment, and decided that the Lyn flag was safest since we were headed there. As usual, we apparently are keeping one of each nation's flag.) When the ship got in range for us to see more clearly, we could make out first that the white flag was decorated with a crossed out Jolly Roger, and second that their crew was standing at the ready to board us, swinging grappling hooks on ropes in preparation. Between Sabine and Denar's cajoling, and his own agitation, Esra used the scroll of fireball that Sabine had insisted on getting, and set the ship's sails on fire, killing several of their crew instantly and making it possible, as we watched their mast collapse and their crew struggling to salvage the ship, to outrun them without having to fight them directly.

Sabine: THAT WAS AWESOME!
Esra: Yes, well, I won't be doing it again. No scroll, you know.
Sabine: Why don't you know that spell?
Esra: It's barbaric!
Iris: Um, yes, you did just set five people on fire.
Denar: They could have been innocents, why'd you do that?
Esra: Innocents do not stand around clearly trying to engage in combat and board our ship!
Llewain: But they were antipirates. Their flag said so.

[We then have a long side discussion about whether anti-pirates would explode on contact with Sabine; then on whether antimatter and matter could possibly react in as volatile a fashion as suggested by Captain Harlock; then on why Voyager is so bad, and has such scenes as jettisoning plasma and then "igniting" it with their phasers, which Bret likened to setting water on ice. It is suggested that perhaps it is blood plasma like the kind he works with, and joked that oh yes, THAT is actually quite flammable! Bret sets us to rights with his phlebotomy: Oh, no, that stuff is like 90% water.]

We sailed without further incident for some time, but at one point late in the third night of travel, Sabine noticed a mist gathering around the ship, and a strange, unearthly seeming light. It manifested into the figure of a woman, who croaked "Turn back! Danger!" when Sabine tried to speak with her. Ringing the bell to alert the others-- who were primping (Iris), cleaning up the magic lab (Esra) and consulting the seacharts (Llewain) respectively. Denar, who had been on deck the whole time, simply melted out of the shadows in his customary rangery way.

We could get no more out of the old woman than Sabine had; while Denar and Llewain were unmoved by the warning and Sabine laughed at the superstitious nature of it, Esra and Iris wondered if it would be possible to chart a course that turned them back, considering the mist dimming the stars. Ultimately, it was decided they'd just go forward, so everyone went below deck who'd been there and slept a while, while Sabine continued to steer the ship.

Until a chill went down her spine, and she wrenched the ship hard to port, narrowly evading a giant, quivering, slick black mass-- an enormous squid!

The squid latched on to the ship and began attacking it, while Sabine rang the alarm and the group groggily returned to deck, buckling on armor and supplies, nursing bruises from being thrown from their beds (or knocked over where they stood) when Sabine pulled port. She pointed out the beast off the starboard bow and the group tried to figure out what to do, even as the slimy monster's huge tentacles descended on the ship.

Sabine began hacking tentacles off at the tips, while Denar and Llewain both stabbed the tentacles nearest them through. Esra pulled free the wand of lightning we'd recently acquired, while debating the merit of equipping Sabine with the rings of free action and gills so she could fight the sea monster beneath the waves. Ultimately he decided against it, calling lightning through the rod and into the monster in a sharp bolt.

Between getting stabbed, hacked at and shot, it was not happy. So it started grabbing us all up in chokeholds with its slimy tentacles and started trying to crack us open! We kept barely managing to struggle free, then being grabbed again, so Esra gave up struggling when he was caught the second time, and, with his one free hand, kept striking the monster with the lightning wand. Iris healed herself just in case, while Denar and Llewain struggled free again, and Sabine tried to hack Esra free. You see, it's reasonable to note that while still in the squid's grip, everyone thus immobilized was being hit by Esra's crazy attacks. Still bound, even though he was just shy of passing out, he activated the wand again, blasting the monster as hard as he could and, by extension, himself and Iris. Iris stayed up, but Esra passed out-- just in time, because so did the squid. Victorious, we continued to sail away, but realized we were taking on water. So once Iris had reawakened Esra, we asked Albert and Jacques to help repair the ship. The next few days of travel were spent in recovery, resting up on part of the party and fixing the ship on part of our darling NPCs.

Along the way, Xenocrates wondered where Glorya had gone, and Esra went to ask Slasher if she'd seen him. She explained that he'd left a couple of ports ago, citing "irreconcilable differences", which made Esra wonder what'd caused them. Slasher professed that she totally liked Esra more than Glorya anyway and he could be her new friend!

Esra: *returning to the bridge* Apparently, Glorya left the ship a couple of weeks ago, possibly more. Troublesome, really.
Sabine: Why?
Esra: Slasher says he had 'irreconcilable differences' with someone?
Xenocrates: I just wondered where he was because I hadn't seen him in a few days. Well, weeks, I suppose.
Denar: *drily* I wonder who he had differences with.
Iris: Indeed.

In any case, Xenocrates guided us faithfully to the town of Ular, while relating that he is actually from Portsmouth and has a wife and children there, from whom he is estranged (for whatever reason). As we were docking he also explained that Red Alexandra lived a couple of days' travel inland from Ular on foot, and that she lives in what he thinks of as a crossbow hut-- you know, a hut where all approaching strangers are shot by the owner with a crossbow.

More later!

So, after watching Intermission, I had to add my Clannad album (a best-of collection) to my .mp3 player and have been listening to them again. The sound takes me back to high school, and also to the beach, and sometimes the music just sinks down into my brain and I regret, in that horrible melancholy way where the world could all be right and I'd still regret that I couldn't do everything. But it's also fun to listen to them, and while I probably don't have the Celtic soul noted in Intermission necessary to make me worthy of listening to them, I definitely have to conclude that I like Clannad pretty well.

Getting excited for vacation time as it nears!

But here is D&D summary, since I did not have time before now.

-We met back up in Lunel, where Esra identified the items we'd found before and we doled them out as fit. Llewain came away with a serrated dagger, Sabine with a frosty sword, Esra with a scroll and a wand and a ring of jumping. Denar had the FLAILSNAIL shell made into a rainbow mace that leaves shiny trails. And, he can use it twenty times to sap people's will to resist him, which is pretty impressive even without the glowy rainbow trails. Sabine also gave Esra the scroll of Fireball she'd asked Maligos to draft for her, and he identified that it truly was a fireball spell (Danny noted that it also had definitely been scribed by Maligos).

-We returned to Nys, pursuing Kelisandra and Korad. But we found them in the Greased Goose inn, where questioning, prying, and severe irritation with their deception yielded the information that, in fact, they had been posing as us under Maligos's orders.

-Esra may need to compare the writing on the fireball scroll with the writing on 'Bishop Dinta's secret notes; also, the scene I did the excerpt from earlier happened, as we checked our ship to be sure nothing much had been stolen.

-I'm also remembering some mysterious hooded figure had lunch with Esra waaaaay back at the beginning of the game, where by 'lunch' I mean 'a cup of boiled water, which he or she did not finish.'

-Hmmmmm. But yes: ritual murders have been happening in Nys, as have nightmares, so we figured we'd probably need to resolve that. This may all be connected to Dinta, Maligos, and the fact that anyone was ever interested in the Crown of the Speaker to begin with.

And Dustin kept claiming that we don't want our island unless it's threatened. To which I say no, we're just savoring it, man. Jeeeez. We're taking our time. We're being prepared, that's all. It's ours and we'll go when we're good and ready. ...probably.

We also made terrible jokes, including poop jokes, jokes about "pass womb", the spell that allowed a crazy knife-wielding NPC to escape his mother's belly, and so on. So on track and mature! That's us. :D

Dear melodramatic "Well I just guess I'm not going to follow the meme to Dreamwidth because it's SO HARD to find my old prompts and fills. *FLOUNCE* GOODBYE" posters on the t-and-b-anon community:

Prove to me that you ever had a fill.

What page is it on on the LJ meme?

Guess what: it's on the exact same page on the DW meme. Yes, really. Yes, you have your fill bookmarked which means you could easily find it again in this way.

How much sympathy do I have for you? Exactly none.

I understand that some people don't want to move to Dreamwidth, and I have no problem with that. But don't try to make out like it's harder to find things on Dreamwidth than it was on livejournal, because it was hard on livejournal, too.

The thing that really makes me roll my eyes, though, is the attempted veiled threat of "hmph! I'm not going to finish my fills!"

Fine, take your ball and go home. The rest of us'll play tag.

SOON TO BE EDITED IN: D&D SUMMARY

NOW PLAYING: D&D SUMMARY

I must open this summary by saying man, Esra, you are just not so great at the planning thing!

So we arrived in the Grand Cathedral, where we had to bully our way in past unimpressed and surly church officials (Esra, feeling pretty badly out of it after traveling for eight hours following our ruckus in Nys; Iris, feeling pretty confused as to why the church is so stubborn about going to bed so early-- it was barely sunset; Sabine and Denar, annoyed that Esra kept talking them out of just killing their way in; Llewain, facepalming and wondering why he's with these crazy people, I'm sure). Eventually we found Bishop Barlowe and warned him about Bishop Dinta.

An aside:

Every single person the party had encountered while we were on the search and asked about the rod had apparently heard of it, and described it exactly as Dinta had, then claimed it did exactly what Dinta said it did. Despite this, Barlowe is the first person to summarize the description of the item, and then tell us "that's the Rod of Cancellation". Nobody thought this, or the previous instances, was strange except for Esra, who can't really fairly judge the religion-and-politics-his-country-recently-trounced-in-a-war without looking like an asshole. Generally he abstains from saying much, beyond muttering about it, but this whole thing is getting a bit ridiculous.

Just once, I wish I could get to play a wizard without having to deal with conspiracy theory plots. There is not a genre I hate more.

End aside, back to summary: So we warn Barlowe about Dinta, and he claims to have found a secret lab in the basement where Dinta was performing cultist rituals to communicate with the evil demon, Orcus (cue like eight hundred jokes about whether that's the god of the orcs, because we are Very Mature in this party, haha), then asks us to go down into the basement and take care of something there. Esra, who was in a bad mood about not going to an inn for the night and catching some sleep, Denar, who was in a bad mood because Barlowe kept insulting us in a misanthropic hates-everyone kind of way, and Sabine, who is just cantankerous, were all pretty leery of doing anything for Barlowe OR the church.

At one point, this happened:

Iris: Well, it would really behoove us to find a new Seeker--
Barlowe: Speaker.
Iris: Speak a new Seeker of Sulafta--
Barlowe: (to Llewain, the only one he liked) Why do you permit the strumpet to speak?!
Esra: (hotly) Because that "strumpet" is the only one of us with any affection in the least for your asinine, backwards church!
Denar: Honestly, calling her a strumpet...
Sabine: She's OUR 'ho
Iris: I guess I'm not a very good public seeker
(Danny: WHAT, hahaha!)
(Dustin: *smirk and nod*)

Anyway: it came down to this. Barlowe wanted us to oust some kind of demon (or wanted us to go into the basement and get killed by it), claimed through lack of evidence and unwillingness to come forth that 'one of the bishops represents both genders as is Sulafta's will', implying 'himself' to be the hermaphrodite in question. Personally, I doubt it, since at this point Sabine's plan of making Llewain the Speaker of Sulafta appeals to me more than letting any existing official have the job-- in fact, I'm not against letting Denar kill them all, because that would be easier than having to determine if they were all working together to try to kill us or not.

After much debate, and irritated discussion about whether we could trust Barlowe or not, we acceded to the request and went down into the basement, where we discovered a demon and two treasure chests-- one all fancy-shmancy encrusted in jewels and one all rank and emitting grossness. Sabine, Llewain, Denar and Iris engaged the demon, while Esra ran up to try to open the rank chest, figuring it might contain the demon's heart. (I'm just going to say right here: I hear "ornately decorated treasure chest in room with demon", the first thing I think is 'shit, we're going to need to catch the deer, then the rabbit inside, then the bird, then smash the diamond at its feet!' because Russian myths are best myths, okay.)

Unfortunately, the rank chest contained dead apprentices, to Esra's horror, and then when he tried the other chest because why the heck not, his hand stuck to it.

The others finished off the demon, while Esra struggled to free himself from the Mimic unsuccessfully, complaining that it was gross. Llewain attacked the beast, but Esra's flailing got him in the way and earned him a couple of daggers in the back, which put him unquestionably on the ground, unconscious and pale as death.

Sabine started hitting the thing with various swords, Denar shot it, and between Llewain, Sabine and Denar's concerted efforts to defeat the sticky gooey monster, it finally collapsed into a puddle, allowing Iris to pull Esra away from it and force a potion of magical healing down his throat. Within the creature lay a small bag coated with runes, in which were hidden a scroll, a ring, a dagger, a sword, and a wand; the party's initial curiosity, which had been Dinta's notes and research-- presumably concealed in a cipher, according to Barlowe-- was collected before they trudged back upstairs, Esra trying to ignore Sabine bullying him (unsuccessfully) while Llewain had to be the Dad.

(multiple conversations last night went something like this, which was hilarious:
Sabine: Aww, poor baby Esra, want me to carry you?
Esra: *stubbornly keeps walking* I don't need your help!
Sabine: Want me to give you horsey rides up on my shoulders? I bet you do~
Esra: Llewaaaain, Sabine is picking on me again.
Llewain: Now Esra, Sabine will never stop bullying you until you stand up for yourself.
Esra: She'll just keep bullying me even if I do!
Llewain: Stop picking on Esra, Sabine.
Sabine: Hahaha-- no!)

Barlowe waited too long to open the door, so Sabine broke it open, smacking him in the nose on our way out. Esra was relieved when Barlowe offered to assist him with some healing magic, (since Iris was still out from before), but aside from collecting more of Dinta's notes from Barlowe (and getting growled at again for letting Dinta go earlier), he had nothing more for us. We headed out of the Cathedral and checked in at Inn Sulafta's Name, where Esra was then bedridden for a while. Denar had collected the abandoned skin of the demon and played with it a while, even considering making it into armor, before he ended up burning it to ensure that the demon could not re-enter the skin. He met a smith who claimed to be able to work any material, and made a plan with Sabine to go back to Nys for the FLAILSNAIL shell.

They discussed this while a cute serving girl in the inn offered to get Esra soup and bread since he was recovering from some injuries, to which he was not averse at all. The soup ended up having a golden ticket at the bottom of the bowl, which turned out to have an enchantment upon it that revealed it was from The Puzzler (the wizard Esra attacked with the Rod of Cancellation before) and invited anyone holding such tickets to come try to prove their worth as the Puzzler's potential apprentice. Esra was annoyed, but kept the ticket-- mostly in the interest of taking the Puzzler down. Anyway, Sabine decided she and Denar would go because Esra is boring, and Esra waved them on, saying they'd have plenty of time to get the shell before he was done recovering and, more importantly, identifying the items they'd found. Llewain and Iris decided to chill in the other inn room after Sabine and Denar left, which meant that the serving girl (who'd been offering to collect hot towels for Esra) came back to play Nurse with him. There will probably be fanart. I can't help myself!

Sabine and Denar returned to Nys to find that imposters-- Kelisandra and Korad, specifically-- had tried to make the claim that they had killed the gold dragon of Hurdu and THEY were the Hurdu Trading Company, pretending to own the ship and kicking the crew off of it so they could do what they wanted with it. While it's possible they're involved, the only person Sabine and Denar found on the ship was our old buddy Maligos, who was rooting through Esra's mage-lab for "something" and claimed he'd not been able to find anything before sneaking off. It's hard to say whether Maligos orchestrated the whole thing or not, since he has interest in the realm of dreams and further, he could have posed as the Hurdu Trading Company himself. In any case, Sabine stayed aboard the ship to establish their rightful claim to it while the Port Authority checked (and drank one of the guards under the table while she waited) while Denar went to find and retrieve the crew, informing them of the deception.

More next week!

One last edit to add:

During the fight:
Llewain: Oops. *wince* sorry, Esra.
Esra: This thing is gross and sticky get it off!
Sabine: What have we learned, Esra? Do not kiss pretty girls, do not talk to strange men who smell nice, and don't touch sticky treasure chests!
Esra: Shut up!
[Another dagger]
Esra: L-Llewain, if I've done something to offend you, I apologize! Please don't throw more knives at me!
Llewain: Just-- hold still--
[And another]
Esra: *collapse*
Llewain: Er, oops.
Sabine: Pfft, what a pushover.

Kristen has come to DW! Not that I can't call her whenever I like, but exciting nonetheless!

Went over some of the summaries to prep for aforementioned project. My goodness, the summaries are SO DENSE, and I still didn't capture the entirety of what was going on. On the upside, it does mean I can re-read exact lines. Some things Dustin once said that I didn't understand at the time are more obvious on rereading-- specifically, in-character Gwenn complained once that Faure was intentionally withholding the truth about his life from her, and had lied about how he was going to answer her questions before. I had completely forgotten the scenario she meant, so Faure's response was, like mine, 'I...did? I'm sorry, I don't remember' which is in character, sure, but hilariously, I now know why I didn't have any recollection of that. Yes, he was absolutely going to answer their questions-- but in an almost comically bad series of events happening every time they were about to settle down and ask, the entire session during which he was going to respond was interrupted by other things happening, or other people pursuing conversations with the party. So, I can honestly say, he meant to tell you, Gwenn, it really just got put by the wayside and nobody remembered to ask the next day!

It's hard to decide whether to alter certain small details (or sometimes not so small details) in the adaptation. Like, Faure did mean to answer the questions. Should he? I'm a little torn, but I figure I'll get there when I get there. That's around the halfway mark and storyboarding even the beginning is going to be pretty intense work.

Gwenn has the highest ratio of adorable lines to times she opens her mouth of any character I've ever seen, so rereading the logs is totally a treat. Between her cuteness, Raven and Kiever's hilariousness, and Eberk's seriously badass lines, I can't help but grin like an idiot whenever I reread these things.

Tonight is more AD&D! I'm looking forward to it. Last week we started to kinda-sorta maybe get our focus back. (We've been too silly to actually do much for several weeks). This week, who knows! Perhaps we shall continue. We had returned to our ship and were about to leave port, but I don't know what the rest of the party wants to do once we reach it. We have to decide whether we're going to let the anti-magic rod fall into Bishop Dinta's hands, and more or less we need to decide if we care enough about the Sulaftan religion to just go find the true Speaker of Sulafta or whatnot. If we bring that person to the capital and put the crown on him/her, I imagine that would at least put an end to this nonsense from the bishops.

We also need to figure out if we're going to go try to evict that gold dragon from our island. Having learned that that elf and her cleric have gone off to try to do so makes me leery of going there. Either we'll find elf and cleric corpses-- which would be okay, I suppose-- or they'll have bested the dragon, in which case there would be no living with them, and Llewain and Esra both would have to wear the most displeased of faces.

I posted an update at Tabletop about the recent announcement that Wizards is developing 5th edition. Maybe check it out if you're at all interested?

We have been watching more of DS9 season 7. ( and I have tons to say about it apparently! )

Edit: Going to add my personal thoughts about 5E here. I'd put 'em on the comm, but I really want that to be a place of discussion and not just me soapboxing at kindly strangers.

The thing about this announcement is, I just can't decide where I stand on it. On the one hand, I'm always happy to see new games and play tabletop in new ways, at least just to try it. I feel like WotC is just giving up on 4E, and for the most part, I don't feel like the people who determine the market understand the product. A big reason people are capable of playing and enjoying the previous versions of D&D even now without needing a new edition is that those versions have nostalgic value, on top of being totally viable games. I'd like to see WotC move towards a more friendly attitude with regards to their consumers.

Instead of treating us like these skittish cash cows they're trying to milk for every dollar, why can't they offer us a variety of D&D products in a way that doesn't bank on selling 40$ books? (40$ US-- I shudder to think how expensive that purchase is in, say, Australia, which I have on good authority suffers some pretty shitty markup). The thing is, having picked up AD&D, even though I liked 4E (which puts me in the minority, I know), I feel that D&D's biggest problem is that the industry is SO tight-knit, everybody assumes we all already know what they're talking about.

WotC's biggest problem with the game is that it's clearly not bringing in enough new players to make their acceptable profit margins. It's fair to assume they want to gain new players of D&D as much as possible, but I feel like nobody's going about it the right way. The attitude of D&D 3.5 and 4 was a bit more 'you know the deal, I don't need to explain what a fantasy world contains, pick dwarf elf or human, your class, okay let's go'.

The thing is, people who've never played D&D, and people who've never researched mideval history, do not know what the fantasy world is meant to contain. Children especially are not going to know what to expect, and giving them a streamlined set of rules (which I find are often stifling to the imagination of players, speaking as one who has definitely been stifled before) is destructive to the playing experience. It's one thing to add products to the D&D market. I could see WotC doing really well if they marketed D&D board games, were willing to print and sell D&D of every edition (which would be a much less aggressive stance, and encourage buyer loyalty because it does not try to erase the previous versions of the game from history), and sold the miniatures, models, dungeon tiles and so on as a supplementary thing to this hobby. I don't really understand what makes them choose not to do that, actually, because selling NO product is a lot worse than selling OLD product, isn't it?

One of the really big selling points of D&D for people is nostalgia, especially people who learned the game on an earlier edition. For me, I learned 3.5 and hated it-- HATED it!-- and when 4th Edition came out, I was really excited to have the chance to come into the game with exactly as much knowledge of the rules as everyone else. Later on, having learned more about AD&D and just plain old D&D, it's pretty hard to pick a favorite. Each edition has some things I like, and some I don't. The really tough thing about the tabletop experience is finding a group of people who want a similar experience to what I want out of it. That has absolutely no bearing on what books get bought, though, so in that sense WotC is out of luck. The product by definition depends on imagination and friendship to be worthwhile; in that sense, I feel a new edition is a waste of R&D that could be spent improving the old one.

If the old editions were reprinted and sold, however-- maybe even as Print on Demand books, who knows-- then the new edition would be wholly optional. People coming in to D&D for the first time would be able to try the newest one if they wanted, or look at the source if they preferred. (There are benefits to both approaches. Gygax's writing in the older books is whimsical and fun, but intentionally circuitous in a way that can be infuriating for a new player with a seemingly simple question to which there is ultimately no definite answer. 4th Edition books are great for being very straightforward, compared to their predecessors.) When the new edition is optional, it feels like the company is genuinely seeking to improve the product. When the new edition is the only edition, it feels like the company is being greedy, and just trying to capitalize on the control they have over the product by trying to force buyers to continue buying ONLY from them. That attitude, more than anything, is what makes me lean more towards Paizo than WotC.